Correção de texto "alimentação"

Solicitações de correções de textos e redações em inglês.
Avatar do usuário erdna6
Tenho de ler um texto na aula de ingles!! Fiz este, podem ver como está?


Hello everybody, I am here again to talk about consequences of a unhealthy diet. It entails several disorders and problems which I am going to told you later. First we need to know what kind of unhealthy diets we can have… A unhealthy diet is (caracterizada como se diz)for a overweight or for weightlessness (não tenho a certeza se esta palavra esta bem... queria dizer falta de peso). Second we need to know what it entails… Overweight- it happen when a person have a diet with fast food and not obtain all essential nutrients. This gays have a sedentary life too. Cancer, hypertension, heart problems and Hipergafia are some of problems and disorders which are consequence of overweight. Weightlessness- it is the opposite of overweight, and have the characteristic of happen mainly with teenagers.. Some of the consequences are anorexia and bulimia. Furthermore are Psychological consequences of obesity and weightlessness… Teenagers want to be perfect and beautiful! And synonym of beauty to their are slimness(também não sei se esta palavra esta bem, queria dizer magreza). Some teens for have this perfect body start having a unhealthy diet which entails disorders I talked before. Friends have a important responsibility to help their friends with this problems!!! So don’t forget have a balanced diet, and promote healthy habits!

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Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 30945 22 51 644
Minha contribuição:

Hello everybody, I am here again to talk about the consequences of an unhealthy diet. It causes several disorders and problems which I am going to tell you later. Firstly, you need to know what kind of unhealthy diets you can have. An unhealthy diet might be the cause for overweight or underweight.

Avatar do usuário dlr 65
Hello everybody, I am here again to talk about the consequences of an unhealthy diet. It can cause several disorders and problems which I am going to discuss later. First, we need to know what kind of unhealthy diets we can have… An unhealthy diet is could cause someone to be overweight or underweight. Second, we need to know what it entails… When a person has a diet with fast food and doesn't obtain all of the essential nutrients, they can become overweight. Also, many times they are less active. Cancer, hypertension, heart problems and eating disorders are some of problems which may be consequences of being overweight. Being underweight is the opposite of overweight, and typically happens mainly with teenagers.. Some of the consequences are anorexia and bulimia. In addition, there are psychological consequences of obesity and under-nutrition… Teenagers want to be perfect and beautiful! And to them, beauty is synonymous to skinniness. Some teens, in order to have this "perfect" body, take on an unhealthy diet which entails disorders I mentioned before. Friends have an important responsibility to help their friends with these problems!!! So don’t forget to have a balanced diet, and promote healthy habits!

Avatar do usuário Flavia.lm 3195 1 7 66
dlr,

dlr escreveu:(…) When a person has a diet with fast food and doesn't obtain all of the essential nutrients, they (wasn't it 'a person'?) can become overweight. Also, many times they are less active. (...) Some teens, in order to have this "perfect" body, take on an unhealthy diet which entails the disorders I mentioned before. (...)


1- concordância "a person" --> they
2 - senti a necessidade de um "the" ali antes de 'disorders' já que são 'disorders' definidas (already mentioned before).

O que acha?

Avatar do usuário dlr 65
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
"They" can be singular in order to refer to someone who's gender is unknown.

quanto ao 'the' tem razão! I'm allowed to make mistakes too :oops:




 


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