Correção de texto: Mobile Phone in people's live

It is almost impossible to imagine the current world without a mobile phone to help us with small things. A lot of surveys was made by countries around the world has showed that the use of technology and mobile phones have increased in a large number. Nowadays, almost all younger has a device with high technology and it also has affected some people’s daily routine.
These surveys indicate that more than a sixth of mobile users see mostly positive benefits to use gadgets with powerful technology, and the majority of people said that they use some sort of device while they are working and studying at school and 1 in 4 people check it every 30 minutes, furthermore four in 10 Brazilians think mobility has helped them achieve a better work-life balance. The growth of internet and social media encouraged these people to buy and use it frequently.
Most people use the internet for read news and check yours updates on social media, beside that to play games and some entertainment, and also have revolutionized the way in which we stay connected with friends and family, during this survey fewer than 3 in 10 admitted do not use these mobile phone in any situations, thus it shows that more than half has a mobile phone or something to check some information and have fun.

CENTENAS DE EXPRESSÕES DO INGLÊS
Preparamos um plano de estudos para ajudar você a dominar centenas de palavras e expressões do inglês em tempo recorde. EXPERIMENTE AGORA
5 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
  Resposta mais votada
9 65 608
These are my corrections to the text:

It is almost impossible to imagine the current world without a mobile phone to help us with small things. A lot of surveys was *carried out by countries around the world have showed that the use of technology and mobile phones have increased in a large number. Nowadays, almost every youngster has a high technology device with high technology and it also has affected some people’s daily routine.
These surveys indicate that more than a sixth of mobile phone users see mostly positive benefits to using gadgets with powerful technology, and the majority of people said that they use some sort of device while they are working and studying at school and 1 in 4 people check it every 30 minutes. Furthermore, 4 in 10 Brazilians think that technology has helped them achieve a better work-life balance. The growth of Internet and social media encouraged these people to buy and use it frequently.
Most people use the ***Internet to read news, **and check their updates on social media, play games and have some entertainment. It, also, has revolutionized the way in which we stay connected with friends and family. during this survey Fewer than 3 in 10 people admitted do not using these mobile phones in any situation, thus, it shows that more than half have a mobile phone or something to check some information or have fun.

Comments:
Just as a complement, your missing the point that part of the growth of cellular technology was because of the huge cost of bringing fibre optic backbone cabling into urban centres, specially in a country the size of Brazil. This encouraged greater investment in the cellular coverage.
*Surveys are not "made".
**Too many "ands".
***Internet with capital letter in this case.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitaliza ... nternet%22
INGLÊS PARA VIAGENS
A professora Marcela Miranda, mais conhecida como a Tia do Inglês, ensina nesta aula introdutória o vocabulário básico de inglês para viagens. Está se preparando para sua próxima viagem? A sua jornada começa aqui! ACESSAR AULA
16 60 498
Minha sugestão:
D@n escreveu:It is almost impossible to imagine the current world without a mobile phone to help us with small things. A lot of surveys were made by countries around the world showing that the use of technology and mobile phones have increased in a large number. Nowadays, almost all teenagers/young people/youngsters have a device with high technology and it also has affected some people’s daily routine.
These surveys indicate that more than a sixth of mobile users see mostly positive benefits to use gadgets with powerful technology, and the majority of people said that they use some sort of device while they are working and studying at school and 1 in 4 people check it every 30 minutes, furthermore four in 10 Brazilians think mobility has helped them to achieve a better work-life balance. The growth of internet and social media has encouraged these people to buy and use it frequently.
Most people have used the internet for reading and to check their updates on social media, and beside that to play games and some entertainment. It also has revolutionized the way in which we stay connected with Friends and family. During this survey fewer than 3 in 10 admitted they don't use mobile phones in any situations, thus it shows that more than half have a mobile phone or something to check some information and have fun.
I would wait for more ideas to improve it.
Cheers!
:mrgreen:
16 60 498
Maybe better to write:
They admitted not to use ...or
...do not use (more formal).
:lol:
16 60 498
Cinnamon escreveu:Maybe better to write:
They admitted not to use ...or
...do not use (more formal).
:lol:
Morning Guys!
Tentei melhorar o texto acima mas gostaria que os colegas pudessem retificar e/ou ratificar
ou "to improve" minha sugestão para melhor precisão.
I tried to do my best. OK!
:roll:
16 60 498
Oh Gosh!
Telma, I am absolutely rusty!!
Used to be better when writing... :lol:
Next opportunity I'll double-check so that I avoid making
so many mistakes.
Thank you for being accurate!!
;)