Ancrispa: Diário de Bordo

Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Correction: :P ;)
Tricia and Bill’s dialogue;

Instead of “How many beers have you drunk so far?”- wrong liquids are uncountable in English, when I wrote that I was thinking in Portuguese and forget about the rule.

You should read: “How much beer have you drunk so far?”
Or “How many glasses of beer have you drunk so far?”
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 36040 4 32 632
Don´t sweat the small things, and it´s a good sign that you can find and correct your own slips. That´s a real improvement.
And congrats on your creative writing. ;)
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Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Thanks my friend!
After posting this little story I dreamt about that question “how many beers have you drunk …?” and I realized that was wrong. So the next day I woke up and that question was still popping up into my head. I had to write the correction to get rid of it.

I think my English is improving after all the hard work.

I can see my mistakes and correct them. I'm happy. :P
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 36040 4 32 632
By the way, Ana. I think it could be used in a colloquial ways (then non-formal language), so many hits we can find on the web...
Perhaps because the answer would be a variegated lot.
For example, if we take the question "How much coffee should you drink?" or similar question, you take those hits and will see that the answers in the features usually express numbers like "three-to-five cups" etc (when normally we would think on terms of "a lot" or "much", since coffee would be uncontable as well). Maybe it´s thinking about this ''putting numbers to it" that made you do that.
So, don´t beat yourself for that, it´s a thing that I won´t sue you for. I would think you were thinking about colloquial ways, or perhaps it´s getting in use, don´t know.
But it´s a good thing that you can think in terms of acquired knowledge and remember a topic (the one of countable/uncountable nouns), that´s what I meant. It´s interesting how the mind works! I relate to your feeling of expressing something, or being studying something and get thinking about it, until I can get it solved. Then I get back to it, sometimes in a new way or opinion. That´s learning indeed.
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Tricia has made up her mind. She is going to have a plastic surgery. She’s going to tell her resolution to her husband Bill.
Tricia: Honey! I have got wonderful news!
Bill: Have you won the football pools?
Tricia: No. It’s something much better than that.
Bill: What can be better than to become filthy rich?
Tricia: Your wife is going to look like twenty years younger.
Bill suddenly falls off his chair.
Bill: What? How on earth is that possible? “*%$#@*”!”
Tricia: I’ll have a plastic surgery.
Bill: Where?
Tricia: On my face, of course!
Bill: Are you sure about that? I mean you maybe regret after doing it.Look at all celebrities who had a plastic surgery and they turned out looking like Yoda. Don’t get offended. I’ve always been a loyal fan of “Stars War”, and Yoda is in fact one of my favourite characters, but he isn’t exactly a beauty role model.
Tricia: You are not helping, Bill. You must be a good husband. Where is your enthusiastic support?
Bill: My dear let’s be practical. How much will this surgery cost?
Tricia: 15 thousand pounds.
Bill: What? How do you expect we are going to pay that?
Tricia: It’s quite simple. I’ve figured out a way to fulfill my dream.
Bill: Heavens! Now the nightmare has turned out into a dream! God! Can I say no?
Tricia: Of course not. We are going to sell that bloody old motorcycle of yours.
Bill: What? My motorcycle!
Tricia: I’ve already put it on the internet. We have received three offers so far.
Bill: Now. You’ve crossed the line. You’ve put my motorcycle on sale without talking to me first? You who are always talking about dialogue in a relationship! What an outrageous thing to do!!!!!
Tricia: Calm down! I was just kidding. I’ve been saving up some money. Dear, I would never sell that hideous motorcycle. I know how much you are attached to it.
Bill: You should have more respect for my health! I was about to have a heart attack!
Tricia: My surgery will be in three days.
Bill: Hold on a minute! Have you already settled everything?
Tricia: Yes. And you are going with me.
Bill: So Mandrake, what we are going to do with the kids?
Tricia: I forgot to mention. My sister is going to come over.
Bill: Now it is official. My house will become the Dracula’s castle.
Tricia: You have to promise me you will be nice with her.
Bill: Your sister is a real pain in the neck. I can’t promise that.
Tricia: Bill, sometimes in life we go through difficult situations, but we must struggle to overcome obstacles. You know every cloud has a silver lining.
Bill: When does Dracula arrive?
Tricia: I believe she may enter through that door at any minute. Listen! The bell is ringing! It must be her! Go and open the door!
Bill: I won’t open it. You invited Dracula. You should welcome her.
Tricia: Please be nice. I’ll go to open the door.
Tricia: Hi Patricia! It’s been ages since the last time we saw each other. I really missed you! Give me a hug!
Patricia: Hi Tricia! I really missed you too! How are the kids?

And the conversation goes on…..

I’ll write another text about the plastic surgery….. ;)
Avatar do usuário Telma Regina 22575 8 59 566
Another good text Ana. I'd make these change:

Tricia: Please be nice. I’m going to open the door / I'll open the door.
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Tricia has had her plastic surgery. She is in the hospital single room, in bed sleeping.
Bill is beside her and he is watching her sleeping. Then he stares lovingly at her wife’s face and thinks: “God! What they’ve done with my poor wife! Now the Darth Vader has turned into Rocky Balboa! How can a human being do such a thing with another human being?”
Tricia wakes up. She looks at Bill and says: Honey, I’m a survivor!
How do I look like?
Bill: Can I be honest?
Tricia: Give me the mirror.
Bill: Honey, right now you are looking like Rocky Balboa after the fight with Ivan Drago. However, the doctor said that it’s normal. You’ll have to wait for a while to see the positive outcome of your plastic surgery.
Tricia: Give me &*¨%$#mirror!
Bill: Are you sure?
Tricia: Yes!
Bill: Are you quite sure?
Tricia: Give me the *&¨%$#@* mirror!
Bill: Here it is. But I must warn you, before you let your feelings run high.
Tricia: Crap! Crap! Crap! Holy crap! I’m looking like Frankenstein!
Tricia bursts into tears. Bill is desperate. He tries to calm her down:
Bill: Don’t cry. It’s just a paradoxical situation; you are looking like ugly now to become beautiful eventually. You won’t be like that forever! Besides look at the bright side –Darth Vader is dead! Your wrinkles have vanished! Isn’t it gorgeous?
Tricia: You are right, dear. I have been reborn from the ashes like the Phoenix rising from the ashes.
Bill: You must think like that.
Tricia: Bill?
Bill: Yes?
Tricia: Do you still love me?
Bill: My dear I’ll love you even if you stay with these lovely swollen purple eyelids. Nothing will change my feelings for you. To be honest with you, my love for you would fill the Amazon River, if it was drought. And it wouldn’t be enough. The river would overflow, for sure. I tried to compose a poem to demonstrate my love. I’ve read on internet that the Amazon River is the largest in the world.
The doctor comes into the room.
Doctor: How are you feeling?
Tricia: I’m good doctor, despite my awful appearance.
Doctor: Let me see. OH! It’s lovely! After two weeks you’ll see the successful outcome of my meticulous work. The nurse will come to give instructions and then you can go home. You must remember, my desert flower, the sun is your enemy.
And the doctor leaves the room.
The nurse comes into the room.
Nurse: Good afternoon! I’m here to give you instructions and to help you to get ready to go. How are you feeling?
Tricia: I’m utterly outraged for having chosen a doctor with such an inflated ego.
Nurse: Don’t take him so seriously! Doctor Jack is famous for his enormous ego. In fact, we the nurses gave him a nickname. Would you like to know it?
Tricia: Of course! I’m eager to hear it!
Nurse: We nicknamed him “Ken (Barbie’s boyfriend) the chosen one.”

Bill, Tricia and the nurse burst out laughing.
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Episódio de hoje: “Autoajuda para a cunhada”
Tricia is in her bedroom sleeping. Bill is in the kitchen with Patricia; they are making lunch for the kids. Let’s check the conversation between these two:
Patricia: I want to tell you sth.
Bill: What is it?
Patricia: I’m dating.
Bill: What?
Patricia: Yes. He is a handsome Brazilian man.
Bill: Good Lord! And he thought “This guy must be crazy. Brazil is famous for its beautiful women and he decides to date the ugliest Englishwoman I’ve ever seen! How weird! Indeed, quite unexpected! I didn’t see from that coming! Amazingly odd! I must know this guy.
Patricia: Why are you looking at me like I was an alien or something quite similar?
Bill: There’s nothing wrong about the way I’m looking at you. I just thought you would never date in your life.
Patricia: Now you are being an */#$%¨&*!
Bill: I don’t want you to get the wrong message. To me, you are a kind of eccentric woman.
Patricia: Why do you mean by that?
Bill: Let’s be honest. Although you are remarkably intelligent and possess a highly cultivated mind, you are not stunning. In fact, if I could choose a character that resembles you, I would say that Chewbacca is the best option.
Patricia: Are you out of your mind? You cannot be that rude! Where are your manners? Don’t you look yourself in the mirror? You aren’t Daniel Craig. You are ugly as hell. If I’m Chewbacca you are Jabba the Hutt; if you want to play with the Star Wars characters.
Bill starts laughing.
Patricia: Why are you laughing about? This is a tragedy!
Bill: I’m laughing because you’ve just evolved from Dracula to Chewbacca!
Patricia: What? Did you use to call me Dracula? Why?
Bill: Because you are terrible.
Patricia: In what way?
Bill: Besides being a moaning Minnie, you are outrageously short-tempered! I’ve always been afraid of you!
Patricia: You know I don’t care about my appearance. I know I’m not a beautiful woman, but as you said before, I have other qualities.
And Patricia starts crying…
Bill feels touched by seeing the fragility of his sister in law. So he clumsily tries to comfort her: Look, I’m not saying that to make you sad. I’m just saying the truth because you are dating now, and if you are able to accept constructive criticism, you will know how to take advantage from this conversation. You are smart.
Patricia: Maybe you are right. I’ll try to be more patient. I won’t complain about everything anymore. I’ll try hard to be more optimistic and value the things I have.
Bill: I’m glad to hear that. You are not a bad person. We should always practice positive thinking. I’ve learnt that from your lovely sister. We must ensure our own happiness.
Patricia: You are right. And I forgive you for calling me Chewbacca. I know you have a great sense of humour.
Bill: Now my dear sister in law, let’s make our lunch, shall we?
Patricia wipes out her tears and starts laughing.
Avatar do usuário Telma Regina 22575 8 59 566
Post mais votado. Movido para a primeira página. Parabéns Telma Regina!
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Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Episódio de hoje: Novela Mecicana, Charles Dickens e gol da Alemanha, gol da Alemanha, gol da Alemanha, gol da Alemanha..... ;)
Bill: Why don’t you invite your lovely boyfriend to come over? I’d really like to know him. You know the Brazilian Daniel Craig.
Patricia: Humm… I detect a touch of sarcasm in your voice. Actually, he is the spite image of Carlos Daniel, the lead character of a famous Mexican soap opera.
Bill can’t stop laughing. And that reaction provokes an infuriating response:
Patricia: Stop being utterly stupid! You look like a caveman!
Bill: I’m sorry. You’ve just passed a contradictory message to me. I mean, you are a smart woman and you are entirely familiar with a Mexican soap opera! I’m flabbergasted!
Patricia: Dear Lord! You are married to a woman, caveman! Women like soap operas! What’s wrong with them?
Bill: Nothing.
Patricia: Can I go on?
Bill: Please, I’m deeply excited to hear your explanation. I mean, there is a cogent explanation, isn’t there?
Patricia: Of course, there is. The cogency of my explanation is that there is a lot of fun in a Mexican soap opera. In fact, we can even establish a comparison between a Mexican soap opera and Dickens’ books.
Bill can’t stop laughing again.
Bill: What a Mexican soap opera could have in common with one of the greatest writers from the Victorian period? I can’t figure it out!
Patricia: You are such an uncultured man! The lead characters from Mexican soap operas generally go through hell before getting their happy ending, and it is exactly like Dickens’ lead characters such as Oliver Twist, Nicholas Nickleby, David Copperfield and Great expectations. And the villains are also as bad as the worst.
Bill: Oh, I see. Who is Carlos Daniel?
Patricia: He is a lead character from “La usurpadora”. He is a good guy and handsome like my boyfriend.
Bill: Are you going to ring him up? I do want to know him.
Patricia: Wait a minute. You want to know him to talk about the fateful final game against Germany, don’t you?
Bill: Of course, I need to see his reaction. After all, it’s not every day that I have the chance to talk with a Brazilian guy about that fateful day for Brazilian football.
Patricia: Well, all I can say is that it’s a sore point for him. Wait here. I’ll ring him up. Perhaps you can know him today.
Patricia leaves the room. She comes back.
Patricia: He is coming. He is curious to know you too.
Bill: Really? Why?
Patricia: Because I told him you are crazy about football.
After half an hour the Brazilian boyfriend arrives.
Bill: It’s the doorbell. It must be him!
Patricia: Wait here. I’ll open the door.
Patricia and the Brazilian boyfriend come into the room.
Patricia: Bill this is Felipe my boyfriend.
Bill: Hi, nice to meet you.
Felipe: Nice to meet you too. Let’s talk about football. Patricia told me you are crazy about it.
Bill: Well, since you mentioned the topic, let me ask you: What did you feel when you were watching the 2014 world cup final?
Felipe gets visibly agitated however; he doesn’t lose his control, and calmly answers Bill: To talk with an utter sincerity, it was one of the worst moments of my life, I mean, I couldn’t believe that it was happening. It couldn’t have been worse.
Bill: As a matter of fact, it could have been much worse. The score wouldn’t be 7 but 10 or 14 goals. I think German players felt pity and didn’t dare to score more goals.
Felipe gets nervous. It’s so painful to him.
Bill gets embarrassed. He tries to calm down his Brazilian friend.
Bill: Look I didn’t mean to make you sad. I only mentioned that if the German players wanted, it could have been much worse. But look at my national team; we were eliminated after just two matches!!!!!!!!!!
Can’t you see? We share something in common; our national teams desperately need a refreshing change!!!! Do you drink?
Felipe calms down. He looks at Bill.
Felipe: Yes, I like beer.
Bill: I’m glad to hear that. I have beer in my fridge. Would you like to grab one?
Felipe: Sure!
And both go to the kitchen to drink a bit and talk more about football.