Correção: Carta de apresentação
- Barbara Ribeiro Pau
- Membro desde: 06 Abr 2016, 16:42
- Perfil · 1 Mensagem
Boa tarde.
Estou me aplicando para empregos fora do Brasil e redigi uma carta de apresentação. Gostaria que dessem sugestões sobre o texo.
Obrigada, gente!
"Dear Ms. Birgit Eichwede
I am Barbara Ribeiro Paula, from Brazil, and I am sending my application in response to the position of (...) advertised on your website.
I was very excited to see this vacancy for I have been following your Career Page for quite a while, expecting an opportunity that I could apply for. And this is a perfect match for my professional and personal objectives. The chance to work in such a prominent company with a dynamic environment, which I believe (...) provides, is exactly what I am looking for.
As an enthusiast of the printing and publishing industries, I prepared myself academically at one of the best print schools in Brazil, SENAI Theobaldo De Nigris, which also hosts a Heidelberg Print Media Academy. There I could experience the most technical part of the printing production, such as creating a layout, choosing the adequate typography and following the printing of the product itself, both in PC and Mac platforms. As well as learning the technical processes, I post graduated there as Manager of Innovative Printing Enterprises. This course gave me a wider perspective of this industry, enabling me to manage processes and the people involved in it.
Professionally, I have been dedicating myself to put into practice all of the knowledge I acquired during those academic years. As a trained designer with over ten years experience in the field of publishing, I had the opportunity to work as graphic designer at a publishing house focused in medical periodicals and manuals. Also, I worked as graphic designer at the printing department of a renowned private school, handling all the projects from the beginning to the end of the process as well as being part of the renewal of the department’s structure and the implementation of a new administration system.
In addition to the mentioned formation and professional experience, and even though already graduated in another field of study, I am currently enrolled on Germanistik, my second graduation, at Universidade de São Paulo - USP (Brazilian University ranked as one of the 100 most prestigious in the world). This course allows me to have a better comprehension of the German culture and language. Although enrolled, this is not an impediment for me to fill immediately the position at all, as it is possible to suspend at any time the course for the required period.
Therefore, I am well prepared to assist the design, production and editorial departments at every part of the production as well as accomplishing all the other responsibilities required for this position. I also am comfortable working as part of a team and have a proven track record of integrity and commitment to company objectives.
I firmly believe that your needs and my skills are an excellent match and my abilities and experience can greatly enhance your company’s already impeccable performance.
With kindest regards."
Estou me aplicando para empregos fora do Brasil e redigi uma carta de apresentação. Gostaria que dessem sugestões sobre o texo.
Obrigada, gente!
"Dear Ms. Birgit Eichwede
I am Barbara Ribeiro Paula, from Brazil, and I am sending my application in response to the position of (...) advertised on your website.
I was very excited to see this vacancy for I have been following your Career Page for quite a while, expecting an opportunity that I could apply for. And this is a perfect match for my professional and personal objectives. The chance to work in such a prominent company with a dynamic environment, which I believe (...) provides, is exactly what I am looking for.
As an enthusiast of the printing and publishing industries, I prepared myself academically at one of the best print schools in Brazil, SENAI Theobaldo De Nigris, which also hosts a Heidelberg Print Media Academy. There I could experience the most technical part of the printing production, such as creating a layout, choosing the adequate typography and following the printing of the product itself, both in PC and Mac platforms. As well as learning the technical processes, I post graduated there as Manager of Innovative Printing Enterprises. This course gave me a wider perspective of this industry, enabling me to manage processes and the people involved in it.
Professionally, I have been dedicating myself to put into practice all of the knowledge I acquired during those academic years. As a trained designer with over ten years experience in the field of publishing, I had the opportunity to work as graphic designer at a publishing house focused in medical periodicals and manuals. Also, I worked as graphic designer at the printing department of a renowned private school, handling all the projects from the beginning to the end of the process as well as being part of the renewal of the department’s structure and the implementation of a new administration system.
In addition to the mentioned formation and professional experience, and even though already graduated in another field of study, I am currently enrolled on Germanistik, my second graduation, at Universidade de São Paulo - USP (Brazilian University ranked as one of the 100 most prestigious in the world). This course allows me to have a better comprehension of the German culture and language. Although enrolled, this is not an impediment for me to fill immediately the position at all, as it is possible to suspend at any time the course for the required period.
Therefore, I am well prepared to assist the design, production and editorial departments at every part of the production as well as accomplishing all the other responsibilities required for this position. I also am comfortable working as part of a team and have a proven track record of integrity and commitment to company objectives.
I firmly believe that your needs and my skills are an excellent match and my abilities and experience can greatly enhance your company’s already impeccable performance.
With kindest regards."
TESTE DE NÍVEL
1 resposta
Resposta mais votada
My corrections are shown below:
Dear Ms. Birgit Eichwede,
*With reference to the position of (...) as advertised on your website, I wish to formally apply for the post.
I am very pleased to see this vacancy for I have been following your Career Page for quite a while, awaiting for an opportunity in order to apply. This matches my professional and personal objectives. The chance to work in such a prominent company with a dynamic environment is exactly what I am looking for.
As an enthusiast of the printing and publishing industries, I **studied at SENAI Theobaldo De Nigris, one of the best print schools in Brazil, which also hosts a Heidelberg Print Media Academy. There I could experience the most technical part of the printing production, such as creating a layout, choosing the adequate typography, and following the printing of the product itself on both PC (Windows?) and Mac platforms. As well as learning the technical processes, I post-graduated there as a Manager of Innovative Printing Enterprises. This course gave me a wider perspective of the industry, enabling me to manage processes and the people involved in it.
Professionally, I have been dedicating myself to apply ***most of the knowledge I acquired during those academic years. As a trained designer with over ten years experience in the field of publishing, I had the opportunity to work as graphic designer at a publishing house focused on medical periodicals and manuals. Also, I worked as a graphic designer at the printing department of a renowned private school, handling all the projects from the beginning to the end of the process as well as participating in the ****departmental structure review and the implementation of a new administration system.
In addition to my qualifications and experience, I am currently enrolled on Germanistik, my second graduation, at Universidade de São Paulo - USP. This course allows me to have a better understanding of the German culture and language, although it will not impact if I am successful with my application for this post.
Therefore, I am well prepared to assist the design, production and editorial departments at every part of the production cycle as well as accomplishing all other responsibilities required for this position. I am a team-worker and have a proven track record of integrity and commitment to company objectives.
I firmly believe that your requirements and my skills are an excellent match and my abilities and experience can assist in the growth and
development of the company.
Yours sincerely,
Barbara Ribeiro Paula
City, Brazil
*You sign your name at the footnote of the letter.
**Keep it simple
***You couldn't possibly apply all your knowledge.
****Make it easier to read.
Some parts had to be cut out because it appeared to be too much over the top. Remember you're writing a formal letter.
Note: I had the help of a Business English specialist to correct your text.
Dear Ms. Birgit Eichwede,
*With reference to the position of (...) as advertised on your website, I wish to formally apply for the post.
I am very pleased to see this vacancy for I have been following your Career Page for quite a while, awaiting for an opportunity in order to apply. This matches my professional and personal objectives. The chance to work in such a prominent company with a dynamic environment is exactly what I am looking for.
As an enthusiast of the printing and publishing industries, I **studied at SENAI Theobaldo De Nigris, one of the best print schools in Brazil, which also hosts a Heidelberg Print Media Academy. There I could experience the most technical part of the printing production, such as creating a layout, choosing the adequate typography, and following the printing of the product itself on both PC (Windows?) and Mac platforms. As well as learning the technical processes, I post-graduated there as a Manager of Innovative Printing Enterprises. This course gave me a wider perspective of the industry, enabling me to manage processes and the people involved in it.
Professionally, I have been dedicating myself to apply ***most of the knowledge I acquired during those academic years. As a trained designer with over ten years experience in the field of publishing, I had the opportunity to work as graphic designer at a publishing house focused on medical periodicals and manuals. Also, I worked as a graphic designer at the printing department of a renowned private school, handling all the projects from the beginning to the end of the process as well as participating in the ****departmental structure review and the implementation of a new administration system.
In addition to my qualifications and experience, I am currently enrolled on Germanistik, my second graduation, at Universidade de São Paulo - USP. This course allows me to have a better understanding of the German culture and language, although it will not impact if I am successful with my application for this post.
Therefore, I am well prepared to assist the design, production and editorial departments at every part of the production cycle as well as accomplishing all other responsibilities required for this position. I am a team-worker and have a proven track record of integrity and commitment to company objectives.
I firmly believe that your requirements and my skills are an excellent match and my abilities and experience can assist in the growth and
development of the company.
Yours sincerely,
Barbara Ribeiro Paula
City, Brazil
*You sign your name at the footnote of the letter.
**Keep it simple
***You couldn't possibly apply all your knowledge.
****Make it easier to read.
Some parts had to be cut out because it appeared to be too much over the top. Remember you're writing a formal letter.
Note: I had the help of a Business English specialist to correct your text.