Correção de Essay: Everyday of recovery

Bom dia, no momento estou na coreia como não aprendi inglês e tenho um curso em minha universidade que precisa fazer trabalhos em inglês fica muito difícil pra mim se alguém puder me ajudar com esse texto ficaria grato.
Acho que tem muito erro de concordância.

City today, is allowed to change the regional structure and spatial structure of cities in the complex and the process of urbanization has evolved into complex modern city. Now urban structure of Seoul, has become the road system and the spatial structure of the vehicle center by development paradigm of the 20th century, in the 21st century is the era of paradigm of today's environment, the spatial structure of an existing vehicle center movement to try to improve the urban spatial structure of walking and environmental center has been actively promoted. The mall also on the first floor that is vertical, space of the vehicle center, is on the third floor is the first building group, which has been trying to walk the deck. however, using the pedestrian deck, connecting the pedestrian flow line disappears original plans to connect the buildings lost. Eventually, accounting for long side and abutting side of the road and parking the space of the building, mainly are used for goods collection of cargo volume, increased by discomfort to the pedestrian. I thing the modern was a part of the shopping center group standing. (old) Asia mall ~ rill, to try to find the potential for the development direction of Obayashi mall interval. Merchants, to adjust their own spaces and applications for operational and convenience of smooth comunity has been strengthening the cohesion of the organization, communication with visitors missing. Ground and horizontal, it tries to form a three-dimensional walking passage that can be connected to vertical. Concept, walking is. Physical activity is a part of our lives, has been made in dailu life. Sitting work accounts for seat of physical labor, the car will replace the bicycle seat and walk, elevator and escalator replacemant to the climb the stairs. Building are making it street, region, city it is difficult design also unnatural physical activity. Modern people to maintain the health, it is necessary to steadily physical activity than anything. The severed walking deck mall erected ever want routinely varied space opportunity to be moved smoothlu. Also, physical activity of the user to visit the merchant and the location is to be promoted.

Mais Votada Mais Votada

Avatar do usuário gabrielock 895 1 15
Cities today are allowed to change their regional structure and spatial structure in the complex and the process of urbanization has (also) evolved into complex modern city. Now, the urban structure of Seoul has become the road system and the spatial structure of the vehicle center by development paradigm of the 20th century, in the 21st century it is the era of a paradigm of today's environment. The spatial structure of an existing vehicle center movementstryingto improve the urban's spatial structure of the walking and environmental center, which/b] has been actively promoted. The mall , [b]that is also on the first floor, that is thevertical space of the vehicle center, is on the third floor inthe firstgroup of buildings, which has been trying to walk to the deck.Nevertheless, (however has a very similar meaning, I just think that when writing an essay it's good using alternative aways so you can show youe knowledge using different, and even sometimes, more formal words using the crosswalk (faixa de pedestre), connecting the pedestrian flow and the original plans to connect the buildings that arelost eventually dissapears. Eventually, accounting for the long side and abutting side of the road and the buildings' parking lot, mainly are used for goods collection of cargo volume, increased the discomfort of the pedestrian. I think that the modern construction was a part of the shopping center's group standing. (Old) Asia mall's rill, is tryingto find the potential of the direction of Obayashi mall's interval development. Merchants, that adjust their own spaces and applications to the operational and convenience smooth of the comunity have been strengthening the organization's coheson, communicating with other visitors that were missed. Big (I don't know if with "ground" you refer to something big or the "solo" itselfand horizontal, it tries to form a three-dimensional crosswalk that can be connected vertically. Walking's concept is a physical activity that is also a part of our lives and if it isn't for some, it should be, which has been a part of our life since then. Sitting at work all day long counts for the lack of physical labor. The car will replace cycling and walking, just like elevators and escalators are already replacing climbs to the second floor. Buildings are being built in everywhere. Indeed, it's a difficult challenge and also an unnatural way of moving, as you don't have to do any efforts. As consequence, to mantain their health, modern people need to steadily practice any sort of physical activity, better than nothing. The several walking decks at malls have erected have occuped almost every space, where you could have the opportunity of moving through smoothl. The individual's physical effort when visiting the merchant also has to be promoted, as every change has made it more and more difficult nowadays.

Wow, what a long text. Desculpa se tiver alguns erros, ou mesmo por ter cortado algumas partes de seu texto e acrescentado outras, apenas para você comparar as duas. Waiting for others' answers.
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Aprenda dicas sobre os tempos verbais em inglês! Baixe agora o seu Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um ótimo resumo para revisar todos os conceitos.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!