Correção de redação: Essay

If I would have to define myself, I would say that I am determined, and hardly give up on my goals. I define myself as a competitive person, but also with a great ability to lead and work in groups, as well as the ability to express myself. Being an observant person, I'm excelling in almost every discussion that I am. I'm always trying to get more knowledge about other things, even outside the area studies that I like.

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If I had to define myself, I would say that I am determined, hardly give up on my goals. I am a competitive person but also commited to the goal of the company or institution I belong to.
I have some leadership experience from which I developed a sense of teamwork and team building and ability to lead in limited budget circumstance and integrate the different outlooks of the members of the group and adjusting their varied abilities toward goal achievement.
I can express myself well, and I have developed a set of critical skills, which makes me an asset to any discussion I take part. In addition, at individual level, I am dedicated to continuous learning and improvement in order to perform job-related tasks effectively and adapt to changes in the workplace situations.
My previous experience has taught me to bring fresh ideas and new good practices from outside the workplace or my area of expertise, when it can be adjusted and applied.

Well, I am not an effective proofreader. So, please deem this as "just a comment in passing". Perhaps others might have found your writing a bit as if "bragging about yourself" so I tried to soft it a tad.
Perhaps it was that you expressed yourself in a different way, and it came out like that. Or perhaps it´s your style, I can´t possible know. So, it´s up to you to think in a new perspective or let it as it was.
Other than that, what I congratulate on your being brave enough to write and show your skills to the world. You have a good repertoire of words and certainly adding some grammar and punctuation will improve your texts further.

I tried to figure out if your piece of text was meant to some interview of sorts, to a conversation, to a class introduction (as a student) or just for testing yourself.
I considered if you wanted it formal or informal, to no avail (sort of).
Thus, I tried to find a middle-ground, many would find it informal at certain parts and not suited to certain uses (maybe a job interview - for it isn´t impersonal enough).
I hope that helps, anyway feel free to comment. You and other members of the Forum as well.