Correção de "Sometimes in the darkness of the..." [en>en]

Estava em português, aí, eu passei esse texto p/ o inglês, está certo assim??

Sometimes in the darkness of the night, I think about everything.I think about in us.Why we had to separate, why is it that fate insists on separate us?
I feel your presence and can not sleep. I think about in our moments and it seems that at that moment and relive it all again feel your touch.
Is where an incredible thrill runs my column, and a tear rolls down my face.A rain falls and the night is even cooler. I feel that all the world sleeps, and there I was in the comfort of my loneless.A rain continues to fall, and every drop of that water shows a memory lost in the darkness of my mind.This empty is inexplicable ...
The hours still pass and this agonizing insomnia only makes me think about you.
You've always been like a drug to me - that controls my mind and my body goes crazy -. Tears roll down my face, but this time it is missing: is repentance. I regret sometimes had given you the first "hi", I regret to have became your friend, to have deceived you, of have had the most perfect kiss of my life with you ... And this is the part that makes my heart hurt.
Why remember the happiest moments?
The pain of goodbye covers my body, my mind torture, and my longing is so great that I could kill to get rid of the pain is any pain terrible. The tears do not stop rolling through my body, they will not let me forget that I love you more than everything, that ever loved someone so much and I love him enough to let him go.
The night seems like an eternity, eternity I want desperately
away on the back.
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Avatar do usuário Marcio_Farias 12350 1 22 206
Máh escreveu:[...] I think about in us.

Colaboração/sugestão: I think about us.
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49115 21 73 1138
Olá Máh,

Sugestões:

Sometimes in the darkness of the night, I think about everything.I think about us.Why did we have to separate, why is it that fate insists on separating us?
I feel your presence and can not sleep. I think about our moments and it seems that at this moment I relieve it all again and feel your touch.
That´s an incredible thrill thatruns down my spine, and a tear rolls down my face.A rain falls and the night is even cooler. I feel that all the world is asleep, and there I was in the comfort of my loneless.Rain continues to fall, and every drop of that water shows a memory lost in the darkness of my mind.This emptiness is inexplicable ...
The hours still pass and this agonizing insomnia only makes me think about you.
You've always been like a drug to me - that controls my mind and my body goes crazy -. Tears roll down my face, but this time it is missing: is repentance. I regret sometimes having given you the first "hi", I regret having become your friend,having deceived you,having had the most perfect kiss of my life with you ... And this is the part that makes my heart hurt.
Why remember the happiest moments?
The pain of goodbye covers my body, my mind is torture, and my longing is so great that I could kill to get rid of the pain since any pain is terrible. The tears do not stop rolling through my body, they will not let me forget that I love you more than anything,that I ever loved someone so much and I love him enough to let him go.
The night seems like an eternity,an eternity that I want desperately to be a thing of the past.


Boa Sorte!