Correção de texto "A letter to an old friend"

Dear Paul,

How have you been? We last saw each other at our high school graduation, rigth? What have you done since then?
Well, as soon as I graduated from high school,I got into at the Science Computer's College but I didn't stay one year there because I didn't like this course at all; I have to say that it was my fault, because I just entered into this course only think about how good was the pay and I didn't think if it was what I really wanted to do.I was only seventeen, I was very immature and I let myself lead by other's mind (me deixava ir pela cabeça dos outros?).

Do you remember Jennifer, that next class girl who I was fell in love for in those times? Well, I took courage and I said my feelings to her (me declarei?) and we started to date. Summarizing, we've been married since 2010, we have one kid and another one is just coming around the corner.

And about Bruno, that boy who was really troublemaker,do you remember him? I don't know if you already know it, but now he is a doctor who takes care poor children in Africa, in a NGO, who would say?
That is my friend, I hope see you again as soon as possible

Regards, Daniel

INGLÊS PARA VIAGENS
A professora Marcela Miranda, mais conhecida como a Tia do Inglês, ensina nesta aula introdutória o vocabulário básico de inglês para viagens. Está se preparando para sua próxima viagem? A sua jornada começa aqui! ACESSAR AULA
3 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
Ancrispa 9 55
Carlos
Estas são minhas sugestões de correções. Só sugestões. Parabéns pelo seu texto.

How have you been? We last saw each other at our high school graduation, right? What have you done since then?

Well, as soon as I graduated from high school, I got into College to study Computer Science but I dropped out of it in the first year because I didn't like the course at all; I have to say that it was my fault, because I only applied for this course considering it as a highly paying career. I hadn’t given much thought to it before, if this was what I really wanted to do. I was seventeen at the time, I was very immature and I was easily led by others opinion.

Do you remember Jennifer, the girl who I have fallen in love with? Well, I took courage and I opened my heart to her. To make things short, we started dating and we got married in 2010. We’ve been married for four years now and we have one kid and another one is just coming around the corner.

Have you heard about Bruno? The boy who used to be a real troublemaker? He is a doctor now. He is currently living in Africa, working in a NGO who takes care of poor children, who would say?

That is all my friend, I hope to hear from you soon.

We say dropped out of university…. (larguei a universidade)
Computer Science : Ciência da computação
Summarising, significa resumir, mas neste sentido de uma carta informal para um amigo, você precisa de um link mais informal, por isso o uso de to make things short (para resumir...)
Quando finalizamos uma carta para um amigo em inglês, usamos I hope to hear from you soon .
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
(To cut a) Long story short, we started dating and we got married in 2010.
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
That is all my friend, I hope to hear from you soon.
Alternatively you could say "that´s all, my buddy. I hope to hear from you soon." (it´s way informal, though.)


"but I dropped out of it in the first year..."
Could also be "but I dropped out in the first year..." (obviuosly in a more informal way, in such case "of it" would be implicit, since it had been informed that it was of "college".


========
None of them were wrong, these are just for variety´s sake. In a more informal vein.