Although I’ve corrected your essay, I quite believe there’s room for improvement.
Beto Carrero World was one more time awarded through Travelers' Choice™, the best (amusing – wrong choice of word) amusement park and the biggest in South America, classified among the 10 best (s )(amusing) amusement parks( of) in the world.
Remember in English adjectives don’t have plural form, i.e. The best 5 shops for women’s clothing. Best is an adjective. It is the superlative form of good.
Amusing is an adjective: She told us an amusing story.
There are more than just radical toys. There are a variety ( varieties- the noun must remain in the singular form) of shows, water toys, Zoo and many varieties of radical toys (here the use of the noun variety is correct – plural form).
We usually use : a variety of sth. A variety of books.
(Beto Carrero- you don’t need to repeat it again) It is a place for (every age) all ages, (since) from kids (until ) to elderly people.
In my opinion, ( there- wrong you must use a subject pronoun here: it) it is one of the best places I have ever been, my favorite toy is (a ) the Fire Whip (one),(it is ) a (reversed rollercoaster) shuttle roller coaster.( I take it back,) Although I was too scared every time I rode it, I would come back again.
OR: Although every time I rode it I was too scared, I would come back again.
( I was way too scared every ( times) that I (went –the verb is to ride the roller coaster)( at) that shuttle roller coaster.)
Every age: cada idade. All ages : todas as idades
Since and until can’t be used in this sense. You should use preposition from …to.https://www.e-education.psu.edu/stylefo ... 3_p16.htmlhttp://www.umesc.usgs.gov/management/ds ... oints.htmlhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shuttle_roller_coasterhttp://www.thecoastercritic.com/2007/07 ... aster.html
Phrasal verb to take sth back (retornar algo, devolver algo). I think you wanted to use the phrasal verb to come back (voltar, retornar).
Beto Carrero is close to the beach and (on the toy called) at the top of a toy called Big Tower which people say is the (biggest) tallest tower ( all over ) in the world, with a height of 100 feet, it is impossible (to) not be scared (to go there), but the view is spectacular, we can see the whole park and also the sea.