Correção de Texto - Carta de Apresentação - English Teacher

Poderiam me ajudar caso seja necessário alguma correção ou aprimoramento nessa carta de apresentação abaixo?
Muito obrigada!!

"For whom it may concern,

My name's Rebecca, I am 23 years old. I've been working as a Bilingual Receptionist for 04 years but right now I'm looking for new challenges in my life. I studied English for several years in my childhood and teen years and always had confidence to communicate in English. I'm a very patient and outgoing person. Being a Receptionist taught me how to balance it working in a highly pressured environment and dealing with all types of people and situations.
I'm truly willing to having a carreer change and I believe I have the skills to share my knowledge with others and to also acquire new ones.
I live in your school's neighborhood so if you have a position for an English Teacher I'm very interested. I send attached my resume for your consideration.

Looking foward to hearing from you.

Best Wishes

Rebecca Araujo"

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Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
I would like to suggest the following corrections:

Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Rebecca. I am twenty-three years old. I have been working as a bilingual receptionist for four years, but now I am looking for new challenges in my life. I studied English for several years in my childhood and since then I have always had confidence to communicate in English. I am a very patient and outgoing person. Being a receptionist, taught me how to handle in a high- pressure environment with calm and confidence. I also learned how to deal with different people and situations.
I truly want to make a career change and I believe I have the perfect skills to share my knowledge with others and to acquire new ones too.
I live in your school's neighborhood, so if you have a position for an English teacher, I am very interested. I have attached my resume for your consideration.

I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

Rebecca Araujo


I would like to make a few observations:
Don’t use contractions in a letter of presentation. If you are going to apply for a job in an English school it may sound a bit informal for someone who doesn’t know you. You don’t know who is going to read your letter. It could be a formal and strict person.
In this particular sentence you highlight that you studied English when you were a child and incredibly young (for me you are a young woman) but you didn’t mention if you kept studying over the years:
I studied English for several years in my childhood and teen years …. (a very confuse piece of information. When did you study? Did you stop studying English? )
If I were you I rewrite it:
I have been studying English since my childhood. I made several courses, including a ten-year course. I have never stopped studying the English language. Because of my work, I have daily contact with the language. For this reason, I speak English with a considerable amount of self-confidence.
Be careful with the use of commas in the English language. Perhaps this website can help you:
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/

We NEVER write a profession in capital letter. Examples: I’m a doctor. I’m an engineer. I’m an English teacher. I’m a driver.
Another sentence:
I'm truly willing to having a carreer change and I believe I have the skills to share my knowledge with others and to also acquire new ones.
Be particularly attentive to the spelling: career not carreer….
The grammar usage: I’m truly willing. It doesn’t sound natural English. A native would never use willing here but the verb want.
We use it when we want to say “eu estou disposta/ eu estou disposto”, but in this particular case, it may imply that you are making a “sacrifice” and you surely don’t want to convey that message in your letter.
Examples:
I’m willing to sacrifice my career for it.
I’m willing to take a lesser job. (or a lesser position)
I’m willing to find a creative way to mitigate this burden…. (God knows what I have been going through….. :))
I’m willing to improve my English grammar…
I’m willing to take the risk…
I’m willing to change for you my love …

Don’t take my corrections quite seriously. They are just mere suggestions.

I wish you good luck in your interview! ;)
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Para aprender mais sobre os Tempos Verbais baixe agora o: Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um resumo bem estruturado para revisar os conceitos que você aprendeu na escola.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Avatar do usuário gian2hard 2270 1 7 50
Ola, essa é minha sugestão!! Eu evitaria usar My name is... principalmente em uma carta de apresentação!

Dear Sir or Madam,

My name is Rebecca, I am 23 years old. I am writing to apply for the position of.../I am interested in the teaching position at your.......I have worked as a Bilingual Receptionist for over 4 years, however I'm looking to take on new goals and bigger challenges in my professional career. I have studied English for several years during my childhood and teen years and always had the confidence to communicate. I am very patient and outgoing person. My previous job as a Receptionist taught me how to manage working in a high-pressure work environment, dealing with all types of people and situations.
I truly want to make a career change, furthermore I am committed to sharing my years of knowledge and skills and even the newly-acquired ones with those around me.

I have attached my resume for your consideration.

Yours sincerely

Rebecca Araujo
Hi guys!

I'm sorry for the delay, thank you very much

Ancrispa, your observation on the use of commas has been very useful to me.

Gian2Hard, thanks for your time as well.

:)