Correção de Texto de Alessandro: Presentation

Alessandro 3 13 98
My name is Alessandro, I’m 35. I’m married and have two kids. I was born and raised in Montes Claros. I have a degree in Business Administration from Unimontes and I have an MBA in project management from FGV.

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4 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
...I´m 35 years old, married with two kids. (it seems like not well expressed to Brazilian ears, as if someone is married to the kid, but no, this isn´t wrong English wording.)

So..

My name is Alessandro. I am 35 year-old, married with two kids/children and I was born and raised in Montes Claros. I graduated [1] in 2012 with a MBA degree (2) from Unimontes University. Next, I got a doctorate degree (MBA) in Project Management from FGV (*) a major Higher Studies and Research institution in Brazil, in the fields of Law, Economics, Management, Social Sciences and IT.)

[1] My choice of words, because just saying that you have a degree, somehow could give the impression that it was not recently. Or even long ago!

(2) If so, one know that it´s all about Management.
If not (then you are a undergraduate), I would hazard "I have/I got a bachelor degree in Business Administration" or specifically a BBA (Bachelor Of Business Administration), altough I don´t know if it´s the case.
If it was from FGV, I would say you got a BBA.
http://portal.fgv.br/en/courses-fgv

(*) Perhaps not necessary, but I decided on leaving the information for benefit of students of other countries.

=
Aside note:
I didn´t know if you meant an introduction (a student introducing himself in front of others in a class) or a resumé-related question, so I tried to keep it half formal half colloquial (just informational).

More advanced students, and real experts or natives English people may give us a hand, their opinion and more ideas. Let´s wait.
It´s worth noticing that talking about Management Education in English is a first to me, and I am just a drop-out Management student... Shame on me! :oops:
In other words, we are in uncharted waters! Ha ha.

That´s more, the year 2012 was purely fictional.

For getting the idea, it looks like they don´t want to put "distance" between the earning of the degree, see?
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/s ... clnk&gl=br
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
Little redoing:

...they don´t want to put "distance" between "now" and the time of the earning of the degrees. see?
Telma Regina 9 65 608
Some corrections and ideas:

My name is Alessandro (Full name), I am 35, married and have two children. I was born and raised in Montes Claros. My qualifications include a degree in Business Administration (Unimontes, location) and a MBA in Project Management (FGV - Fundação Getúlio Vargas, location).

You should expand the texting by adding Experience, Certifications (e.g. PMI), Specialist Courses, Interests, References (if required).
Depending on why you are holding this presentation, you may want to add your objective(s).
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
And a little correction of my previous post:
I am a 35 years old

I am a 35 year-old, only if it was specified as in: I am a 35 year-old Brazilian/student...etc.)