Correção de texto - Essay CsF Perspectives in the USA

Olá pessoal, escrevi esse texto pra uma das essays do CsF, como eu que escrevi notar os erros fica mais difícil por conta do processo mecânico de ser o próprio autor, gostaria da ajuda de vocês para saber se o texto se encontra coerente e correto, vai me ajudar bastante. Segue o texto.

I am a Civil Engineering student at Centro Universitario do Distrito Federal and I will express in words the gain and benefits of studying and living abroad, specifically in the United States, and the importance of that experience to my professional and academic career and how it will be used in my country in the future.

As a engineer student , I worry about my knowledge, because as many others areas, you are always in learning process, you must be able to be a student forever, because there are always something new in the area,always has something new to learn, as a new method or a new technology, there are always innovation to compose your routine as a engineer, to be a good researcher and professional, knowledge are the word key to succeed. In that way, I think that living abroad is an excellent chance to improve my knowledge and evolve my skills.

For this skill development and interchange of accomplishments, I chose the United States of America. The United States have some of the best universities of the world, every year the country invests lots of money in research and technology, this kind of investments are really important and show how the nation cares about education.

The United States are also a major economic power and are leanding in many areas of technology, so the best opportunities are there, some of the newest technologies, the most qualified professionals, the largest investments, some of these opportunities unfortunately do not exist in Brazil, to a modern and globalized student, does it really matters.

Another important fact is the language spoken; english is accepted worldwide and live together with people that have that language as mother tongue will improve a lot in my pronunciation, reading, speaking and writing. Nowadays this things, like know others languages, are required and necessary in all fields of research and work, the academic and scientific articles are mostly in english or in a foreign language, this upgrade on my english will enrich my professional, academic and personal experience, and I will also be able to read and write better articles in other idiom, what is very essential nowadays.

The investments in education and research in Brazil are low if compared to others countries, and sending students to study and live abroad are the first of many steps to achieve a top rated education with a strong global spotlight, I believe that education is the most important thing to a country and is the best way I can contribute to my nation, is learning new things that can really be used here, implement what I brought from my year abroad in my college and also upgrade my curriculum. This experience will be used in Brazil by a better student, which knows different cultures and can resolve and apply methods from a different point of view, which was acquired abroad.
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I am a Civil Engineering student at Centro Universitario do Distrito Federal. I will express in words the gain and benefits of studying and living abroad. ( specifically in the United States- no need to say that).The importance of that experience to my professional and academic career and how it will be used in my country in the future.

Being an engineer student, (it’s not wrong to use as but you are going to use it again in the next sentence, thus in order to avoid repetition I used the verb to be) I worry about my knowledge and as in many others areas, the learning is an unending process, you must be engaged with your studies. There is always something new in the area, (something new to learn –no need to say that- avoid repetition) for example a new method or a new technology.(There is always – avoid repetition) Innovation is essential in the field of engineering, therefore to be a good researcher and professional, knowledge is the key word for success. In that way, I think that living abroad is an excellent chance to improve and develop my skills.

Consequently, to accomplish this goal I chose the United States of America. The United States have some of the best universities in the world, every year the country invests lots of money in research and technology; and these kinds of investments are really important and show how the nation cares about education.

The United States are also a major economic power and have leadership in many areas of technology, so the best opportunities are there, some of the newest technologies, the most qualified professionals, the largest investments, some of these opportunities unfortunately do not exist in Brazil. ( to a modern and globalized student, does it really matters- no need to say that)

Another important fact is the language spoken; English is (accepted worldwide- ) the world lingua franca and live(together)with people that have( that ) this language as their mother tongue( is the world lingua franca) will improve my pronunciation, reading, speaking and writing a lot. Nowadays these things, like knowing other languages, are required and necessary in all fields of research and work. The academic and scientific articles are mostly in English or in (a) another foreign language. This opportunity will upgrade my English besides enriching my professional, academic and personal experience.( and I will also be able to read and write better articles in other idiom, what is very essential nowadays.- no need to that – you already mentioned something very similar above)

The investments in education and research in Brazil are low if compared to other countries, and sending students to study and live abroad are the first of many steps to achieve a top rated education with a strong global spotlight. I believe that education is the most important thing to a country. The best way I can contribute to my nation, is learning new things that may be used here, implement what I brought from my year abroad in my college and upgrade my curriculum as well.
( This experience will be used in Brazil by a better student, which knows different cultures and can resolve and apply methods from a different point of view, which was acquired abroad.- no need to say that again)

Congratulations on your essay.