Correção de texto: Every generation of people is different

Ola pessoal. Se vocês puderem deem algumas dicas no seguinte texto.
Grato. Abraços !

"Every generation of people is different in important ways. How is your generation different from your parents’ generation? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer."

The world has seen incredible innovations in the field of technology in the last fifty years. All these innovations are causing so many differences between generations and they are coming so fast that each generation has become more distant from the previous one. My generation has lived in this new world of technology and I would say that we are different from our parents in a lot of different ways.

First of all, the way by which we communicate in this generation is totally different from that made in the past. Today we have things like cell phones that we can use to send text messages without the need of using our voices. We also have websites where people can talk to each other from every part of the world. These things have changed our communication and we are not so social or fans of meetings like the old generation was.

Second we saw a succession of revolutions in the past. Young people used to go out to the streets and change the situation. We haven’t seen this kind of thing in the last few years. Perhaps people are not so worried about things like education or health like they used to do in the past or the revolutions are not made in the same way. In any case, we have to confess that the way in which this generation deals with social questions is completely different from that of the past.

Finally medicine has changed people’s life. Diseases are treated more easily and people are living for more time now than in the past. This fact has changed our reality and now people are less worried about some kinds of dangers and spending less time in hospitals.

All these things make my generation different from the old one and this is great because the generations can cooperate and share their experiences in order to do a better world, in which the knowledge from the past can contribute to avoid the same mistakes in the future.

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3 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
The world has seen incredible innovations in the field of technology in the last fifty years. [1]All these innovations are causing so many differences between generations and they are coming so fast that each [2]generation has become more distant from the previous one. My generation has lived in this new world of technology and I would say that [3]we are different from our parents in a lot of different ways.

I would redo that (the Italicized part), "innovations" and "generation" comes as a repeat.
That´s more, in that part you elaborate (in some way or the other) three times, in separate ways, that "everyone generation" is different.

[1]the first, [2]second and [3]third.



First of all, the way by which we communicate in this [4]generation is totally different from that made in the past.
First of all, the way we communicate in this time/age is totally different from that of the past.
[4] generation again...
When I say from that, its means "from that "way" of the past." (so "way" is "implicit.)

Today we have *things like cell phones that we can use to send text messages without the need of using our voices. We also have websites where people can talk to each other from every part of the world. These things have changed our communication and we are not so social or **fans of meetings like the old generation was.

*things is too general, what about gadgets/tools/devices/accessories/equipments etc.
**we are not as inclined to attend meeting/to hold or participate in meetings [like our predecessors].


In any case, ***we have to confess that the way in which this generation deals with social questions is completely different ****from that of the past in a number of ways.

***we must admit/we have to admit
****"from the past" again...

Finally medicine has changed people’s life. Diseases are treated more easily and people are living [5] for more time now than in the past. This ( ) has changed our reality and now people are less worried about some kinds of dangers and spending less time in hospitals.

[5]People are living longer. And again you are talking about "the past", over and over.



All these things make my generation/our age group different from the former, and this is great/welcome, because the generations can cooperate and share their experiences in order to do a better world. Of which the knowledge from the past can contribute to avoid the same mistakes in the future.



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It was an "cursory reading", thus, it´s a bit flawed. It covered just the basic of the basics. Others will certainly pick up where I left off.
PPaulo!! thank you very much for your help. It is going to be very helpful.
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
Glad that it helped! That´s what EE friends are for...hee hee.