Correção de texto: FCE semi formal letter or email

Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Esta é uma carta semiformal em inglês. O tópico da redação foi tirado do livro FCE- gold página 28. E vai ser minha redação desta semana aqui no EE.
O tópico é o seguinte: você ganhou um curso de inglês de duas semanas na Austrália com todas as despesas pagas, incluindo acomodação.
Dear Mr Spiller (o nome foi dado pelo livro)
Thank you very much for your email informing that I have won first prize in the competition. I am looking forward to going to Australia and attending the course. (este paragrafo o livro que escreveu- não entendi porque ele não usou o artigo antes de first…. the first prize)

I would like to do the course in August because I am going to be on holiday. Despite being winter, I have been told that it is not bitterly cold.

In the morning, I would like to join a grammar and vocabulary class because I’ve been longing for a chance to clarify my doubts about the toughest points of English grammar. Likewise, I want to take this opportunity to expand and enrich my vocabulary.

In the afternoon, I would like to try making a radio programme because it is certainly going to be a challenging experience as well as an enjoyable way to improve my English. I would also be interested in trying the scuba diving course because I know that Australia is quite famous for having a unique sea life. It will be an unforgettable adventure in my life.

Could you tell me what type of accommodation is provided and what kind of clothes I should bring with me? Am I going to share my room with other students? If so, how many?

I look forward to hearing from you (o livro também deu esta frase)
Best wishes
Ana
Minha dúvida: Posso usar o phrasal verb to clear up my doubts ao invés do verbo to clarify my doubts, ou seria muito informal?
Todos os começos de parágrafos foram dados pelo livro:
I would like to do the course in August because....
In the morning, I would like to join a grammar and vocabulary class because….
In the afternoon, I would like to try ….. because….
I would also be interested in trying because….
Could you tell me what type of…. Is provided and what kind of…. I should bring with me?
Copiei do jeito que está no livro e depois continuei as frases como sugerido. Só que acho que ele usou muito because. :o
Será que eu poderia substituir alguns dos because por : so that, in order to, in an effort to....?

Peço desculpas por tantas dúvidas. :oops:
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Para aprender mais sobre os Tempos Verbais baixe agora o: Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um resumo bem estruturado para revisar os conceitos que você aprendeu na escola.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39205 6 32 684
"First prize" to me was something of a novelty to me, but then it seems like a fixed expression. Thus, acceptable.
Anyway, if you don´t feel like writing, it´s okay, up to the student.


http://www.englishforums.com/English/Th ... p/post.htm

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I would like to do the course in August because I am going to be on holiday.

I would change for:
I would like to take the course (or to ''join/enroll in the course" in August because it going to be on my holidays.



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Sorry for not poring the whole work today, it´s getting late and I am a bit in haste. Anyway, I won´t forget it, tomorrow will be a new day!