Correção de texto: Living Better

Decidi começar a escrever sobre os assuntos que vejo no Englishtown para fixar melhor o vocabulário e a gramática. Sendo assim, escrevi este pequeno texto e gostaria, se possível, que alguém corrigisse e indicasse meus erros. Normalmente peco mais com conjugação do verbo no tempo ideal e a parte de preposições.

Obrigado

Living Better today is a big difficulty. Our life is fast, for the most people they don’t have any free time to start an exercise routine. We eat very poorly, ie, we eat a lot of fast food like McDonalds, Habbib’s, and others and this will result in a lot of health problems.

Some people work about 40 hours a week, but isn’t hard to see someone working around 65 hours/week. On these days, we heard a lot of: “wow, my life is moving fast! We are on June!”. That means these people don’t use your time well, they just live for their work and forget to do other things, such as do a cardiovascular activity, go to the gym, exercise every day… well, you catch the idea. They take everything so seriously and don’t remember to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Sometimes, they figure out all these problems, and then decide to start a program of exercises, but for discovering that probably they have got some health problems. The very common way that happens is these people start feeling anxiety, that drive to insomnia, exhausted, stress, depressed and fatigue. Then, they decide to do a physical examination, and figure out that their cholesterol is very bad. This, allied with a really poor diet can lead to heart attacks and others big problems.

One way to avert all these problems is make a lifestyle change. You could start an exercise routine, practicing some cardiovascular exercises like jogging, running, or maybe if you like go to the gym, weightlifting. But for that you must stay motivated, you have to exercise every day. You have got to eat healthier, drink more glasses of water and remember: everything in moderation! Don’t eat everything you crave, avoid fatty and salty foods.

Though we have a lot of commitments and work to do during the week, we need to remember to take care of our body. If we only worry about our out-problems without look for our intern-problems, I mean, our health, we’ll start to feel bad, and this will drive to a lot of visits in the hospital and medics, but can avoid if we start eating more healthy and practicing exercises.
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Avatar do usuário gian2hard 2270 1 7 50
Living better and healthier today isn't easy. Our life is fast We live in a fast-paced society, forthe where most people they don’t have any free time to start an exercise routine. We eat very poorly, ie, we eat a lot of fast foods like such as McDonalds, Habbib’s and others and this will result in a lot of health problems/Health Issues.

Some people work about 40 hours a week, but it isn’t hard uncommon to see someone working around 65 hours/week. On These days, we heard hear a lot of: “wow, my life is moving fast! We are on June it's June already!”. That means these people don’t use your their time well, they just live for their to work and forget to do other things, such as do a cardiovascular activity, going to the gym, exercising every day… well, you get the idea. They take everything so too seriously and don’t remember forget to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Sometimes, people figure out all these are aware of these problems, and then decide to start a program of exercises workout routine, but for discovering that probably they however, by the time they realize exercising is beneficial they've already got health problems as a result of year of physical inactivity. The very common way that happens is these What happens is, people develop anxiety, that which drives to insomnia, exhaustion, stress, depression and fatigue. Then, they decide to do a physical examination medical check up, and figure out find out that their cholesterol is very bad/hight/low. This, allied together with a really poor diet can lead to heart attacks/vascular conditions and others problems.

One way to avert all these problems is making a lifestyle change. You could start an exercise routine, practicing doing some cardiovascular exercises/doing cardio, like jogging, running, or maybe if you like going to the gym, weightlifting. But for that you must stay motivated, you have to exercise every day. You have got to eat healthier, drink more glasses of water and remember: everything in moderation! Don’t eat everything you crave, avoid fatty and salty foods.

Though we have a lot of commitments and work to do during the week, we need to remember to take care of our body. If we only worry about our out-problems work-related problems without look for our intern-problems and not about our health , I mean, our health, We’ll start to feel bad, and this will drive to result in a lot of visits in to the hospital and medics, but we can avoid all that if we start practicing exercises exercising and eating healthier more healthy .


Good job !

Sugestões:

Cuidado com repetições tipo " Most people they don't " não precisa do they depois de people, " Most people don't "
Em portugues seria o mesmo que dizer, " a maioria das pessoas elas não.. " , o "elas" não é necessário depois de pessoas.

forget to do other things, such as do a cardiovascular activity = Esquecem de fazer outras coisas, por exemplo fazer exercício. O do antes do cardivascular activity é repetição também.
Avatar do usuário gian2hard 2270 1 7 50
Vinicius, se tu quiser aprender mais sobre preposições eu sugiro dois coisas, aprenda as regras sobre quando usar certas preposições e o mais importante de tudo, quando tu tiver aprendendo vocabulário, aprenda a palavra e a preposição que segue ao mesmo tempo. Eu nunca aprendi as regras de quando usar preposições, por isso que eu nem me meto no parte de gramática desse forum :D

Por exemplo a palavra interested, aprende já que interested e sempre seguido de IN. I'm interested in something. I'm interested in that chick etc.

Se não sabe por onde começar da uma olhada nesse site, tem mais de 100 palavras e suas devidas preposições.
http://learneasygrammer.blogspot.com.au ... ns-18.html

abraço