Correção de texto: Mini biografia de Renato Russo em inglês

Amigos esse é um trabalho para faculdade de letras - inglês, gostaria de saber se o texto está bom/correto e aceito sugestões para a finalização, que não consegui fazer - gostaria de expressar que ele - Renato foi um artista brilhante e carismático mas provocava reações controversas (eu colocaria que ele era controverso, mas não sei se tem como dizer isso em inglês, busquei outras fontes e não achei essa palavra).
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Aline

Renato Manfredini Junior

Renato Manfredini Junior was born in Rio de Janeiro on March, 27 1960.
He had lived in New York with his family for three years, after that they moved to Brasilia, D.C. with his parents.
Since 1975 until 1977 he was seriously ill. During this time, he stayed most of time at home, on his bed, and he had lot of time to read his favorite books and listened his favorite songs.
His favorite writers were J. D. Salinger, Thomas Mann, J. J. Rousseau and William Shakespeare, among other authors.
About music, his family used to listen classic music, but Renato Russo – that was Renato Manfredini Junior artistic name – had a preference for progressive rock as Emerson Lake and Palmer, Yes, King Crimson and Genesis.
At the age of 17 he discovered the punk rock from U. K. and Sex Pistols was his inspiration to begin his on punk rock music group.
It was called Aborto Elétrico (1978 – 1981) and his partners with this were Fernando (Fê) Lemos and Andre Pretorius. Aborto Eletrico changed the music scene in Brasilia with their have and dirty sound and the political – social lyrics.
At the end of Aborto Eletrico, Renato Russo started to sing his songs alone as a Trovador Solitário (something as “Lone troubadour”), and the presentations were acoustic, mostly different of Aborto Eletricos´s sound.
In 1982, he created Legião Urbana with Marcelo Bonfá, Paulo Paulista e Eduardo Paraná, but the components of the band that conquested Brazil in the eighties and nineties were Renato Russo, Marcelo Bonfá e Dado Villa – Lobos.
Together Legião Urbana produced ten records while the leader was alive, and Renato Russo made two single records – one he sang English songs (The Stonewall Celebration Concert) and the other one, he choose Italian songs to sing (Equilibrio Distante).
Renato died in October11th, 1996, at his apartment – just few friends were there with him, and known that he was sic. He produced Legião Urbana´s last record from there, and he was one of the most bright and charismatic artist of his generation but he causes

MELHORE SUA PRONÚNCIA EM INGLÊS
Nesta aula, o professor Adir Ferreira, autor do livro "A Chave do Aprendizado da Língua Inglesa", nos conta como se tornou um Expert em pronúncia e dá várias dicas para você se comunicar melhor em inglês. ACESSAR AULA
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gian2hard 1 7 52
aline beltrame escreveu:Amigos esse é um trabalho para faculdade de letras - inglês, gostaria de saber se o texto está bom/correto e aceito sugestões para a finalização, que não consegui fazer - gostaria de expressar que ele - Renato foi um artista brilhante e carismático mas provocava reações controversas (eu colocaria que ele era controverso, mas não sei se tem como dizer isso em inglês, busquei outras fontes e não achei essa palavra).
Obrigada
Aline
Renato Manfredini Junior

Renato Manfredini Junior was born in Rio de Janeiro on March, 27th 1960.
He lived in New York with his family for three years, moving to Brasilia, D.C. with his parents thereafter.
From 1975 until 1977 Renato was seriously ill. During this period he stayed mostly at home in bed reading his favorite books and listening to his favorite songs to pass the time.
His favorite writers were J. D. Salinger, Thomas Mann, J. J. Rousseau and William Shakespeare, among other authors.
His family used to listen to classic music, although Renato Manfredini Junior, best know by stage name Renato Russo – was more inclined towards progressive rock such as Emerson Lake and Palmer, Yes, King Crimson and Genesis.
At the age of 17 he discovered the punk rock from U. K. and Sex Pistols became his inspiration to begin his career in a? punk rock music group.
The group called themselves Aborto Elétrico (1978 – 1981) the other two members were Fernando (Fê) Lemos and Andre Pretorius. Aborto Eletrico changed the music scene in Brasilia with their heavy, dirty sound and social and political themed lyrics.
Aborto Eletrico came to an end when the group split up, Renato Russo carried on with his musical career as a solo artist, now know as Trovador Solitário (something as “Lone troubadour”), his gigs were mainly acoustic, mostly different from Aborto Eletrico´s sound.
In 1982, he started Legião Urbana, together with Marcelo Bonfá, Paulo Paulista e Eduardo Paraná, but the components of the band that conquested Brazil in the eighties and nineties were Renato Russo, Marcelo Bonfá e Dado Villa – Lobos.
Together Legião Urbana produced ten records while the leader was alive, and Renato Russo made two single records – one in which he sang songs in English (The Stonewall Celebration Concert) and the other one in which he choose to sing an Italian song (Equilibrio Distante).
Renato died on October 11th, 1996 in his apartment – Only a few friends knew of his illness, and were there at the moment of his death. He produced Legião Urbana´s last record from his apartment, although there were many controversies surrounding his persona Renato surely was one of the most bright and charismatic artist of his generation

Oh dear, that was long, I'm sure I missed something. I'll go thru it again later.
Gian, thank you very much for your help.
gian2hard 1 7 52
no worries, you're welcome !
Donay Mendonça 23 127 1.7k
Sugestões de correção:
Renato Manfredini Junior

Renato Manfredini Junior was born in Rio de Janeiro on March, 27 1960.

He had been living in New York with his family for three years when they moved to Brasilia, D.C. with his parents.
From 1975 until 1977 he was seriously ill. During this time, he spent most of his time at home, on his bed, and he had a lot of time to read his favorite books and listen to his favorite songs.
His favorite writers were J. D. Salinger, Thomas Mann, J. J. Rousseau and William Shakespeare, among other authors.
As for music, his family used to listen to classic music, but Renato Russo – that was Renato Manfredini Junior artistic name – had a preference for progressive rock as Emerson Lake and Palmer, Yes, King Crimson and Genesis.
At the age of 17 he discovered the punk rock from U. K. and Sex Pistols was his inspiration to begin his punk rock music band.
It was called Aborto Elétrico (1978 – 1981) and his partners with this were Fernando (Fê) Lemos and Andre Pretorius. Aborto Eletrico changed the music scene in Brasilia with their have and dirty sound and the political – social lyrics.
At the end of Aborto Eletrico, Renato Russo started to sing his songs alone as a Trovador Solitário (something as “Lone troubadour”), and the presentations were acoustic, mostly different of Aborto Eletricos´s sound.
In 1982, he created Legião Urbana with Marcelo Bonfá, Paulo Paulista e Eduardo Paraná, but the components of the band that conquered Brazil in the eighties and nineties were Renato Russo, Marcelo Bonfá e Dado Villa – Lobos.
Together Legião Urbana produced ten records while the leader was alive, and Renato Russo made two single records – one he sang English songs (The Stonewall Celebration Concert) and the other one, he choose Italian songs to sing (Equilibrio Distante).
Renato died in October11th, 1996, at his apartment – just a few friends were there with him and knew that he was sick. He produced Legião Urbana´s last record from there, and he was one of the most bright and charismatic artist of his generation but he causes
Minha humilde contribuição:
Renato Manfredini Junior

Renato Manfredini Junior, who became known as Renato Russo, was born in Rio de Janeiro, on March 27,1960.He had lived in New York with his family for three years, after that they moved to Brasilia, D.C.
From 1975 to 1977 he became seriously ill and during this period in bed, because of his illness, he had a lot of time to read his favorite books and to listen to his favorite songs. His favorite writers were J. D. Salinger, Thomas Mann, J. J. Rousseau and William Shakespeare, among other authors.
Regarding music, his family used to listen to classic music, but Renato’s preference was progressive rock, like the one performed by Emerson Lake and Palmer, Yes, King Crimson and Genesis.
At the age of 17 he discovered the punk rock music from U. K. and Sex Pistols was his inspiration to begin his own punk rock music group, with his partners Fernando (Fê) Lemos and Andre Pretorius that was called Aborto Elétrico (1978 – 1981). Aborto Eletrico, changed the music scenario in Brasilia with their heavy and dirty sound and its political – social lyrics.
After the end of Aborto Eletrico due to constant arguing between Fê Lemos and him, Renato began his solo career , as the Trovador Solitário (“Lonely Minstre”), period that lasted only a few months and when he performed, mostly, acoustic musics what was very different from Aborto Eletrico’s sound.
In 1982, he created Legião Urbana with Marcelo Bonfá, Paulo Paulista e Eduardo Paraná, however, the components when the band conquered Brazil in the eighties and nineties were Renato Russo, Marcelo Bonfá and Dado Villa – Lobos.
Legião Urbana produced ten records when the leader was still alive, and Renato Russo, alone, made two single records – one with English songs (The Stonewall Celebration Concert) and the other with Italian songs (Equilibrio Distante).
Renato was one of the most charismatic and bright artist of his generation, but he caused some controversial reactions, mostly because of his songs and behavior(é mais ou menos isso que você queria?). He died on October11, 1996, at his apartment, from where he produced the last Legião Urbana´s record. Just a few friends knew that he was seriously sic and were with him when he died.
APRESENTAÇÃO PESSOAL EM INGLÊS
Nesta aula, a professora Camila Oliveira ensina como você deve se preparar para fazer uma apresentação pessoal profissional em inglês. O conteúdo dessa aula ajudará você a aproveitar melhor as oportunidades no ambiente corporativo. ACESSAR AULA
Rakell Grubert Pere escreveu:Minha humilde contribuição:
Renato Manfredini Junior


After the end of Aborto Eletrico due to constant arguing between Fê Lemos and him, Renato began his solo career , as the Trovador Solitário (“Lonely Minstrel”), period that lasted only a few months and when he performed, mostly, acoustic musics what was very different from Aborto Eletrico’s sound.
In 1982, he created Legião Urbana with Marcelo Bonfá, Paulo Paulista and Eduardo Paraná, however, the components
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
I would only correct the last bit "He died on October11, 1996, in his apartment..." and "sic" might have been a typo, I think.
PPAULO escreveu:I would only correct the last bit "He died on October11, 1996, in his apartment..." and "sic" might have been a typo, I think.

Sick, pleeeease!!!! :lol:

Thank you, PPaulo.