Correção de texto "My name is John you know it but I say..."

Hello everybody. My name is John you know it but I say it again. I have a particular opinion about teens and technology in general. I guess that young boys are becoming addicted to video games. The question that every guys want to know is Why do they like so much that? And How can parents make with their kids stop playing? The first question is simple… Teens like computers and mobile phone because it’s fun and when they are playing they are absent minded and for example while teens are playing video games they could be someone else (nao sei se esta expressao esta bem) that they liked be! The second question for guys that don’t remember is How can parents make with their kids stop playing… and for this questions we just need think.. teens like video games because that’s fun, so parents should do a substitution … change video games for things more funny… like practice sports or travel with them…
Play video games entails several dangers… hipertenção (nao encontrei a traduçao para ingles), problems in their eyes, isolation and depressions…. I kwon that is very fun and if we play sometimes there aren’t problem… However if we are always playing we can damage our relationship with our friends and our health too. Then I advise you to play with moderation…

segunda feira vou ler este texto na aula de ingles... podem ver se esta bem e se acham que deveria mudar alguma coisa... eu acho que uso muitas vezes "and" como faço para combater isso?