Correção de texto: My name is...

Olá boa noite! Será que poderia ter a gentileza de me ajudarem com minha redação sobre mim em inglês? Eu fiz a redação, mas não sei se está certa, se me puderem corrigir para mim, ficarei muito grata

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Hey! My name is Chayane. I do not really like that name, so I'd rather you call me chay; Well I'm 15 years old and I'm in the ninth year of elementary school. I've always been good at raising expectations and almost always attaining them. I live in SP capital, but my dream has always been near the beach, they say people are happy there. On cold days, it's nice to go to a coffee shop where I like the smell of coffee, hot chocolate and hot buns coming out. Every year end business with my family where we travel. We have stopped short of this, but we are slowly trying. I like meeting people from different places. I consider myself a confident person. And always like this, I hope it seems. I am known as the clown of the family too, the smiling house and the family. Good enough for you to

COMO COMBINAR PALAVRAS EM INGLÊS
Nesta aula, o professor Denilso de Lima, autor do livro "Combinando Palavras em Inglês", ensina como as collocations (combinações de palavras) podem ajudar você a falar inglês com mais naturalidade. ACESSAR AULA
1 resposta
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
After a cursory reading, my suggestions are the following (I didn´t proofread the text in the whole, but here some parts caught my eye):

I'm 15 years old and I'm in the ninth grade.

I am good at setting goals and following through with them, and I am commited to meet them.

I live in Sao Paulo state, in the namesake capital.

...in cold days,...


On cold days, it's nice to go to a coffee shop where I like the smell of coffee, hot chocolate and hot buns coming out.
Now I grew curious..., when you don´t go to a coffee shop you don´t like the smell of coffee?
On cold days, I like to go to a coffee shop to enjoy the smell of coffee, hot chocolate and hot buns coming out. (others might improve that, but for the time being that will do.)

I tried to keep it informal. In academical writing some parts would change. I wouldn´t use "namesake" for example (homonymous would be more likely).