Correção de texto: recommendation about a end-of-term party

Hi, dear students,

Some of you asked me to write a recommendation about the party of end-of-term.

Some students don’t want a fancy dress party, and I agree with them. I suggest a barbecue at someone’s house on a Saturday afternoon. We should hire a band to play a “musical journey”. Thus way we will please all musical tastes. Does anyone know a musician or a band in campus? The band or the musician maybe agrees to play for free, doesn’t it?

I agree that tickets must be inexpensive, but I suggest the parents should pay to participate at the party. We shall use this money to pay for things, like the band, the local of the party.

Regarding the local of the party, does anyone know someone who has a big house nears from campus? I think its the better choice, because we’ll avoid another costs.

Everyone should bring a drink or a snack to the party.

Best regards.
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Hi, dear students,

Some of you asked me to write a recommendation for the end-of-term party.

Some students don’t want a fancy dress party, and I agree with them. I suggest a barbecue at someone’s house on a Saturday afternoon. We should hire a band to play a “musical journey”. (1) Thus, we will please all musical tastes. Does anyone know a musician or a band in campus? The band or the musician may agree to play for free, might they not (2)?

I agree that tickets must be inexpensive, but I suggest the parents should pay to attend the party. We shall use this money to pay for things like the band and to rent the (3) party venue.

Regarding the place for the party, does anyone know someone who has a big house nears from(4) campus? I think it is the best choice, because we’ll avoid other costs.

Everyone should bring a drink or a snack to the party.

Best regards.

Correction key:
Italic: not necessarily wrong, but it probably did not sound good the way it was originally written.
Bold: problems with grammar, vocabulary or spelling.

Recommendations:
(1) Use either thus or that way; the expression thus way makes no sense.

(2) Once you're exploring a hypothetical scenario, you should either use a modal verb or a conditional clause in the sentence. Even though tag questions with modal verbs are seldom seen, I chose to use one, because it fit better in your sentence. More information regarding tag questions can be found here: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix: ... _questions

(3) Local, in English, means belonging or relating to a particular area or neighborhood, typically exclusively so. I suppose your Portuguese-speaking background might have contributed to this slip.

(4) Near from is incorrect. You could just say near (to) somewhere.

Cheers!