Correção de texto: Retrospective 2013

Avatar do usuário Lucas Queiroz 460 1 14
Consider the year that's nearly complete, 2013 was a year which brought a lot of surprises for us. 2013 started with fire and many dead in the “Boate Kiss” in Santa Maria-RS, this accident demonstrated that our country need of hard rule and more supervision by the authorities. We saw many protests around the world, such as Egypt, Syria, Ukraine and Brazil. That’s right! Our Brazil woke up for the corrupt government, despite some people been saying that the giant came back to sleep, but will be? We watched also, for the first time, two pope leading the Catholic Church and we had the first South American pope, Francisco, visiting to Brazil. 2013 was as well the death’s year of many leader such as Hugo Chavez and Mandela, they helped to building the world each their own way.

Let 2013 come with health, joy, peace and money to everyone. Happy new year to everybody!
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Para aprender mais sobre os Tempos Verbais baixe agora o: Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um resumo bem estruturado para revisar os conceitos que você aprendeu na escola.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39195 6 32 684
My comments on that one.

Retrospective of 2013.
2013 in retrospective.
Retrospective -2013.

Consider the year that's nearly complete, 2013 was a year which brought a lot of surprises for us. 2013 started with a fire wich left many people dead in the “Boate Kiss” [nightclub Kiss] in Santa Maria-RS, this accident demonstrated (I preffer "showed") that our country needs harder regulations and more supervision by the authorities involved with the matter.
We saw many protests around the world, such as Egypt, Syria, Ukraine and Brazil. That’s right! Our Brazil have woken up and took the streets to protest against corruption, despite some people have been talking that the giant came back to sleep, but will be? We also have seen for the first time, at one point, two popes at the helm of Catholic Church. Then we had the first South American pope, Francisco, visit to Brazil.
2013 was the year of the death of many leaders in the world, such as Hugo Chavez and Mandela, they helped to build the world each their own way.

Let 2014 come with health, joy, peace and money to everyone. Happy New Year to everybody!


==========
I was concerned more with the grammar points, since I personally don´t know, for instance, if the protests that erupted in Syria and Brazil are of the same kind. Or if they just overlap in some way. Namely, they have in common that youngster are involved, but the political environments and where they draw their ideas (and the ideas itself, in Brazil it wasn´t thought to oust the central government at all).

As for the nightclub Kiss, we know for a fact, that many (not all, had such perception, though) people knew well that there was no way out. Even so, people wanted to party in disregard for safety (you just try to take somebody out in such places, and I say even today in many major cities in Brazil). Money talks! and it´s not only the club owner money, but that of club patrons as well. Don´t take me wrong, my heart goes out to those that died and their family. But it´s easier to blame authorities when things go wrong...it happens all the time.
Avatar do usuário Lucas Queiroz 460 1 14
Primeiramente, muito obrigado pela correção Paulo!

Dúvidas:

1 - A sua preferência por showed x demonstrated é algum apontamento gramatical?

Sobre os comentários:
Eu sempre tento fazer um texto compacto para não tornar cansativo para quem vai corrigir/ler, por isso englobei os protestos todos em uma mesma categoria, mesmo sabendo que eles tinham alguns de seus ideais diferentes.

Quanto a boate Kiss discordamos e concordamos, pois de fato "money talks", todavia não estamos falando de uma boate qualquer da periferia, mas sim da melhor boate que existia na cidade, na qual as pessoas pagavam caro para entrar, logo poderiam concluir que teriam um serviço de qualidade e segurança, mas não foi o que acontecia. Porque? Novamente porque "money talks", o proprietário pensava: "se eu cobro caro, não há fiscalização com a segurança e nunca aconteceu nada, porque devo gastar dinheiro com isso e diminuir meus lucros?" Não sou de jogar a culpa pra cima do Estado, mas nesse caso, em minha opinião, a maior parte da culpa ficou para a ausência do Estado somada a falta de profissionalismo dos donos da boate, entre outros, afinal, tudo na vida é multicausal.

Obs.: Relendo o texto percebi que estou perdendo o "queísmo" inglês (that).
Retrospective of 2013.
2013 in retrospective.
Retrospective -2013.

Consider the year that's nearly complete, 2013 was a year which brought a lot of surprises for us. 2013 started with a fire which left many people dead in the “Boate Kiss” [nightclub Kiss] in Santa Maria-RS, this accident demonstrated (I preffer "showed") that our country needs harder regulations and more supervision by the authorities involved with the matter.
We saw many protests around the world, such as Egypt, Syria, Ukraine and Brazil. That’s right! Our Brazil has woken up and took to the streets to protest against corruption, despite some people have been talking that the giant went back to sleep, but will be? We have also witnessed for the first time two popes at the helm of Catholic Church. Then we had the first South American pope, Francisco,who had come to visit Brazil.
2013 was the year of the death of many leaders in the world, such as Hugo Chavez and Mandela, Both leaders contributed a strong influence in shaping the world in there own way.

Let 2014 come with health, joy, peace and money to everyone. Happy New Year to everybody!
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39195 6 32 684
No, no grammar point involved there. Demonstrate have some different acceptions, one is "to make clear/to show'' (your way of thinking there). And then comes the meaning "to make a public expression that you are not satisfied about something, especially by marching or having a meeting."

I just thought one could take one for the other, anyway, you could use both. In the present case, I preffered "showed" but, as I said, could be both. Since a native certainly would grasp the meaning. Maybe I am being a bit ESL-ish in that case.

As for the nightclub Kiss. All involved, patrons, owner and authorities might have some share of blame, sure as eggs is eggs! All in all, some of the patrons have noticed that there weren´t enough fire extinguishers and places to go out. The owner might have thrown his weight not to be fined, and authorities might have seen the other way... The flaw in the text, to my thinking, was that it dealt with it in a one-sided way, there was just one of those to shoulder the blame.
Congrats on your writing skills, and for finding ways to dispensing with the "queismo" (thatism) he he.