Correção de texto sobre Steve Jobs

Olá, gostaria, se possível, que revisassem o texto abaixo.

When he died all the news talked about his life, carrier and his journey to became this revolutionary man that we know he was. I didn’t know so many things about him. So in this time, I watched an amazing video on Youtube that became famous on the Internet. In this video, Jobs gives a speech to Stanford University graduates in which he discusses his way to see life, opportunities and death. Have you already watched it?

I think that he gave to students tree lessons:

First of all, He started telling them that He never graduated in College. He started one but it was very expensive and He dropped out in the beginning because it wasn’t interesting anymore and he had no idea how college was going to help him figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Even so, he continued studying others things, that in the future were very useful. The lesson here is: Believe that everything will work out ok. Nothing is in vain. Everything you do, it’ll serve one day in life.

Then he speaks about his carrier at Apple. He founded it when he has 20 years old and 10 years later, Apple was a 2 billion company. Then he got fired but he knew that he still loved what he did. So, He decided to start over. In this period he starts two new companies: Next and Pixar (Animation Studio that Created Toy Story). He was hired again for Apple. So we can say He was a winner. He lost almost everything in his life and even so he was successful because he was doing what he loved. That’s exactly the point: find what you love and keep looking for until you find.

The last message is that time is limited. He felt himself very close to death when discovered he had a very rare kind of cancer and noticed that should live every single day like it was the last one. That’s why all day we should ask ourselves: If today were the last day in my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And if the answer is no, have courage to follow our heart and intuition.

ENTENDENDO AS HORAS EM INGLÊS
Nesta aula, a professora Camila Oliveira ensina vários macetes para você nunca mais se confundir na hora de dizer as horas em inglês. ACESSAR AULA
4 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
Donay Mendonça 23 127 1.7k
Algumas sugestões de correção para o seu texto dentro do que o contexto permite entender:

When he died, all the news was about his life, career and his journey to become this revolutionary man that we know he was. I didn’t know so many things about him. So in this time, I watched an amazing video on Youtube that became famous on the Internet. In this video, Jobs gives a speech to Stanford University graduates in which he discusses his way to see life, opportunities and death. Have you already watched it?

I think that he taught students tree lessons:

First of all, he started telling them that he never graduated from college. He started one but it was very expensive and He dropped out at the beginning because it wasn’t interesting anymore and he had no idea how college was going to help him figure out what he wanted to do with his life. Even so, he continued studying other things, that in the future were very useful. The lesson here is: Believe that everything will work out ok. Nothing is in vain. Everything you do, will help you one day in life.

Then he speaks about his carrier at Apple. He founded it when he has 20 years old and 10 years later, Apple was a 2 billion company. Then he got fired but he knew that he still loved what he did. So, He decided to start over. In this period he starts two new companies: Next and Pixar (Animation Studio that Created Toy Story). He was hired again by Apple. So we can say He was a winner. He lost almost everything in his life and even so he was successful because he was doing what he loved. That’s exactly the point: find what you love and keep fighting for it until you get it.

The last message is that time is limited. He felt himself very close to death when discovered he had a very rare kind of cancer and noticed that he should live every single day like it was the last one. That’s why every day we should ask ourselves: If today were the last day in my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? And if the answer is no, have courage to follow our heart and intuition.


Ótimo texto, parabéns!
Muito Obrigada! Foi de grande ajuda!

Uma dúvida:
No trecho That’s exactly the point: find what you love and keep fighting for it until you get it.
A ideia que queria passar era essa: Encontre o que você ama, e se não encontrar continue procurando até que ache.
Acho que fugiu um pouco do sentido. Como eu poderia dizer?
Eu pensei assim:
find what you love and if you don''t keep looking for it until you find.

Está correto?
Donay Mendonça 23 127 1.7k
No trecho That’s exactly the point: find what you love and keep fighting for it until you get it.
A ideia que queria passar era essa: Encontre o que você ama, e se não encontrar continue procurando até que ache.
Acho que fugiu um pouco do sentido. Como eu poderia dizer?
Eu pensei assim:
find what you love and if you don''t keep looking for it until you find.
Se você encontra o que ama, não precisa mais continuar procurando. A idéia seria redundante. Na sentença original do texto não foi mencionado "e se você não encontrar''.

That’s exactly the point: find what you love and keep looking for until you find.

"Find" quer dizer que você encontra. Com a explicação acrescentada "se não encontrar", podemos reconstruir a sentença assim:

''Try to find what you love, but if you don't succeed at first, keep trying (until you do).''
É verdade, eu que não consegui me expressar da forma que queria no texto original.
Mais uma vez obrigada! Era exatamente esse o sentido que procurava.