Correção de texto "The prevention and treatment..."

Hey, everyone.

Gostaria de saber se poderiam me auxiliar com a correção com a introdução abaixo:

"Introduction:
The prevention and treatment of cardiovascular disease (CVD), the leading cause of mortality in developed countries and in Brazil, include non-pharmacological measures and among them physical activity is an important factor. "

Thanks in advance.
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Você sabe como está o seu nível de inglês? Teste agora GRÁTIS em apenas alguns minutos.

Clique aqui para iniciar o Teste Online!
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39205 6 32 684
Introduction:
The prevention and treatment of Cardiovascular Disease (CVD), the leading cause of mortality in developed countries and in Brazil; includeS non-pharmacological measures, and among them physical activity.


It´s my view here, others will certainly change and improve it.
Thanks.
Avatar do usuário Henry Cunha 9960 2 17 177
PPAULO escreveu:Introduction:
The prevention and treatment of Cardiovascular Disease (CVD), the leading cause of mortality in developed countries and in Brazil; includeS non-pharmacological measures, and among them physical activity.


It´s my view here, others will certainly change and improve it.


No semicolon, though, PPaulo. We need 'includes' as the predicate of 'The prevention...disease (CVD)'. Just use a comma:

The prevention and treatment of CVD, the leading cause of mortality in dveloped countries and in Brazil, includes non-pharmacological measures, among them physical activity.

The underlined parts are the essential; the others are parenthetical.
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39205 6 32 684
That´s right, thanks for improving it.
I would just keep the bit "The prevention and treatment of Cardiovascular Disease (CVD)...", tough.
It´s out of habit; when talking about a given acronym for the first time, I always
write it togheter with the description of what the acronym stands for.
When mentioning for the second time, and from onwards on, I could mention just the acronym itself. Since the reader already knows what it stands for. But then, it´s me. ;)
Again, thanks for the grammar point, buddy. ;)