Correção de texto "The technology has been changing"

yuir
Galera,

Alguem pode corrigir o meu texto? Sou leigo...
Vou ter prova e vou precisar desse texto corrigido.
Preciso utilizar o present perfect continuous and conjunctions.

Att :)
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What has changed in the last 10 years?

I will talk about the changes of technology.

The technology has been changing our lives. 10 years ago, the internet wasn’t a unknown word, however it was restricted for the people, because the price was very expensive and the speed was very slow. Over the years, some new companies that provide de internet service were created and therefore, the price has been cheaper. The internet is not only important at work but also at work.
Lately, the e-mail is a technology has been using frequently. Some years ago, we shared the information by letter or fax, but nowadays, companies and peoples started to use e-mail, because it is both fast and safe. Moreover, we can use the internet as a form of enjoy and meeting friends.
On the other hand, some people use the technology to create bomb or steal information. The main crimes on the internet are steal credit card number and personal information. Despite the fact that some countries have been using technology to research, other countries have been using to create weapons.
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6 respostas
Ordenar por: Data

Flavia.lm 4055 1 10 94
Olá yuir

Vou fazer um trecho e deixar o restante pros colegas, ok?

The technology has been changing our lives. 10 years ago, the internet wasn’t a unknown word, however it was restricted for the people, because the price was very expensive and the speed was very slow.

revised: Technology has (significantly) changed our lives. The word 'Internet' wasn't unknown ten years ago, however, it was restricted to some people because it was expensive and very slow*.

*o preço sim, mas o fato de ser 'very slow' não restringia a Internet a algumas pessoas; sugiro mudança da frase.
* o significantly foi sugestão minha, senti falta de um advérbio ali.
* note que eu tirei os "the"; sugiro a leitura de:
https://www.englishexperts.com.br/the-usos-i/
https://www.englishexperts.com.br/the-usos-ii/
https://www.englishexperts.com.br/the-usos-iii/

Por favor observe as mudanças que fiz e comente caso queira detalhamento de alguma delas.

Flavia.lm 4055 1 10 94
Ah! E seja bem-vindo(a) ao fórum!

Donay Mendonça 60515 21 100 1464
Yuir,

Complementando,algumas correções:

Technology has been changing our lives.Ten years ago,the internet wasn’t an unknown word, however it was accessible to few people, because the price was very high and the speed was very slow. Over the years, some new companies that provide internet service were created and therefore, the price has been lower.The internet is not only important at work but also at home.
Lately,e-mails are a type of technology everybody uses frequently. Some years ago, we shared information by letter or fax, but nowadays,companies and people started to use e-mails, because it is both fast and safe. Moreover, we can use the internet as a way of entertainment and meeting friends.
On the other hand,some people use this technology to create bombs or steal information. The most common crimes on the internet are stealing credit card numbers and personal information. Despite the fact that some countries have been using technology to do research, other countries have been using it to create weapons.

Muito boa redação!

Henry Cunha 10170 3 16 182
Donay, I liked this text a lot. I've made some edits for you to consider:

Technology has been changing our lives.Ten years ago,the internet wasn’t an unknown word; however, it was accessible to few people, because the price was very high and the speed was very low. Over the years, some new companies that provide internet service were created and, therefore, the price has been lowered. The internet is important not only at work but also at home.

Lately, e-mails are a type of technology everybody uses frequently. Some years ago we shared information by letter or fax, but nowadays, companies and people have started to use e-mails because they are both fast and safe. Moreover, we can use the internet as a way of entertainment and meeting friends.

On the other hand, some people use this technology to create bombs or to steal information. The most common crimes on the internet are: stealing credit card numbers and personal information. Despite the fact that some countries have been using technology to do research, other countries have been using it to create weapons.

Did I make any changes you find unnecessary? There is one you should look at carefully: "the most common crimes are..." I inserted a colon. "Most common crimes" aren't "stealing credit cards...etc" Does that make sense?

All the best.

Donay Mendonça 60515 21 100 1464
Henry,

Yes,it does make sense!

P E R F E C T!

yuir
Olá colegas!!!

Gostaria de agradecer a Flavia, o Mendonça e o Cunha pela ajuda!!!!!!Muito obrigado!!!
Me ajudou d+ ! Acabei de passar ele pro papel =)
Fikei esse fds todo estudando pelo English Expert ! Mt boa as dicas ! Parei de ouvir Estádio 97 e agora soh escuto praticamente os PODCAST! =D
Dei uma passeada no forum e vi muitas coisas interessantes que estão me ajudando mt !

Obrigado mais uma vez moçada!!

See you !

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