Correção de texto: TOEFL Question

Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With the help of technology, life is easier today than in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, we live in a world that show to us how the technology can improve our lifes. It is easy to say that we acquired some facilites in the world. Personally, I believe that life is easier than in the past and i have some reasons to support my opinion.

First of all, the technology improves the communication. With a simple touch on your notebook, cellphone or tablet, for example, you start to talk with anyone around the world. I can remember when I was young and the single way to talk with a person who is far from you, was by telephone. Furthermore, the costs of communication are decreasing.

In addition to the communication, it is importante to remember that technology can help the medicine. A lot of new discovers, treatments, cure of diseases are available today, and this is possible because the increase of the knowledge about the technology. A simple exam can be done faster then twenty years ago or we can prevent some diseases, for example.

Concluding, based on arguments explored above, it is importante to consider that using the technology in our favour, we can take some answers that we cannot in the past. I believe that in tem years the life will be much easier than today. The increase of technology will show us a new way of life.

TESTE DE VOCABULÁRIO
Faça um teste e descubra como está seus conhecimentos de vocabulário de inglês em 5 minutos! Este teste foi desenvolvido por professores experientes. O resultado sai na hora e com gabarito. INICIAR TESTE
2 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
  Resposta mais votada
6 14 102
These are my suggestions of correction:
Nowadays, we live in a world that shows us how the technology can improve our lives. It is easy to say that we have acquired some facilities in the world. Personally, I believe that life is easier than in the past and I have some reasons to support my opinion.

First of all, technology improves communication. With a simple touch on your notebook, cellphone or tablet, for example, you can start talking with anyone around the world. I remember when I was young and the only way to talk with a person who was far away was by telephone. Furthermore, the costs of communication have decreased.

In addition to the communication, it is important to remember that technology can help the medicine. A lot of new discovers, treatments, cure of diseases are available today, and this is possible because of the increase of the knowledge about the technology. A simple exam can be done faster than twenty years ago or we can prevent some diseases, for example.

Concluding, based on arguments explored above, it is important to consider that by using the technology in our favor, we can have some answers that we couldn't in the past. I believe that in ten years life will be much easier than today. The increase of technology will show us a new way of living.
Keep up the good work! Cheers!
CENTENAS DE EXPRESSÕES DO INGLÊS
Preparamos um plano de estudos para ajudar você a dominar centenas de palavras e expressões do inglês em tempo recorde. EXPERIMENTE AGORA
Thanks a lot Artful!!