Correção de Texto: Um texto sobre Mim

Hi my name Junior Sousa and I am eighteen years old , at the moment I study in a university a little far way from my neighborhood , everyday my father take me to university by motorcycle and I back home by bus. I don't like that very much because I spend one hour and thirty minutes in the way back home. One thing I love to do is playing guitar, I've been played for four years and i still remeber the first music learned. Other thing that i like a lot it is go out with my friends and dancing, playing and shopping with them.

Thanks in advance!

MELHORE SUA PRONÚNCIA EM INGLÊS
Nesta aula, o professor Adir Ferreira, autor do livro "A Chave do Aprendizado da Língua Inglesa", nos conta como se tornou um Expert em pronúncia e dá várias dicas para você se comunicar melhor em inglês. ACESSAR AULA
2 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
  Resposta mais votada
9 55
Hi, my name Junior Sousa and I’m eighteen years old. At the moment, I'm studying in a university a little far away from my neighborhood. Everyday my father takes me there by motorcycle and I come back home by bus. I don't like that very much, because I spend an hour and thirty minutes on the way back.
In my free time, I love playing the guitar. I've been playing it for four years and I still remember the first song I learned. Another thing that I like a lot is going out with my friends and dancing, also playing and going shopping with them.

Some points to consider:
We always use the preposition on with the noun way when you are going to one place to another place. Example:
I bumped into John on the way home.
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/pt/dici ... tugues/way

http://oxforddictionary.so8848.com/search1?word=way

The Noun University: the letter u is a vowel but has a consonant sound “y”. Therefore we say “a university” and not an university.
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/reso ... ce/540/01/

It’s better to use the noun song and not music here. Collocation. We can count songs but not music (uncountable noun). So you must say the first song you learned.
http://guitar.about.com/od/tabchordslyr ... Guitar.htm

https://sites.google.com/site/marysengl ... like-doing

If you started writing a text using contractions go on using them. Don’t mix contracted forms with full forms as you did in the first paragraph e.g. I am eighteen years old. … I’m studying….

Congratulations on your essay. ;)
ENTENDENDO AS HORAS EM INGLÊS
Nesta aula, a professora Camila Oliveira ensina vários macetes para você nunca mais se confundir na hora de dizer as horas em inglês. ACESSAR AULA
1 15
Suggestion:

Hi, my name Junior Sousa and I am eighteen years old. At the moment I'm studying in an university a little far way from my neighborhood, everyday my father takes me there/I go there by motorcycle and come back home by bus. I don't like that very much, because I spend an hour and thirty minutes in the way back. One thing I love doing is to play the guitar. I've been playing it for four years and I still remeber the first music (that) I learned/learnt. Another thing that I like a lot is going out with my friends and dancing, also playing and shopping with them.

You might want to wait to see others' suggestions, maybe there are other things to improve.