Correção de texto: "Why do 'ISIS' entice women more and more

Avatar do usuário sidneybpjr 30
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Employees on White House said to BBC that, despite of the recent news, the number of citizens who emigrate to Siria for living under the "Islamic State" rules picked two years ago.
Moreover, the proportion of women among those who join to extremist group has been increasing dramatically. What is behind it and what exactly is the ISIS estrategy to entice them?
Islamic State, also known as "ISIS", adopts two different attitudes related to women.
On a hand, it treats those who it considers herege in nearly subhuman conditions, as commodities to be exchanged and given as a premium for jihadist warriors.
Shocking images of a sexual slaves market in Mosul, Iraq, show warriors discussing the prices to be paid for yazidi girls captured in the last year, many of whom are minor.

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TEXTO ORIGINAL

Por que o ‘EI’ atrai cada vez mais mulheres?

Funcionários da Casa Branca afirmaram à BBC que, ao contrário dos recentes anúncios, o número de cidadãos da Grã-Bretanha que emigraram para a Síria para viver sob as regras do "Estado Islâmico" ("EI") atingiu seu auge dois anos atrás.
Entretanto, a proporção de mulheres entre aqueles que se juntam ao grupo extremista tem crescido dramaticamente. O que há por trás disso e qual é exatamente a estratégia do "EI" para atraí-las?
O "Estado Islâmico", também conhecido como "Isis", adota duas atitudes diferentes com relação às mulheres.
Por um lado, trata aquelas que considera hereges em condições quase subumanas, como commodities para serem trocadas e dadas como prêmio para combatentes jihadistas.
Imagens chocantes de um mercado de escravas sexuais em Mosul, no Iraque, mostram militantes discutindo os preços a serem pagos por garotas yazidis capturadas no ano passado, muitas delas menores de idade.
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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39195 6 32 684
Why is that that women are increasingly being allured by* the "IE"?

What entices Western girls to go join ISIS? (Source: the net)
An well-thought headline, because Western girls cause so much impact, the Eastern ones don´t have a say if they can join them or not. To be honest, they don´t have any say in any aspect of their own lives (the majority of them, I mean), AFAIK.


*also: impelled to(wards)/seduced by/tempted, etc.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-33985441
http://dailysignal.com/2015/08/06/why-w ... mic-state/

And how about the key words - transgression -breaking rules? sometimes the youth days are surviving days, if you survive, you learn something...but then, who will listen you?
http://theallureofcrime.com/home/

And then, why the surprise? maybe the same reasons as men get into that. Mostly, the young.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfre ... -good-evil



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So, I dealt with the title, as you see could be translated into a number of (different) ways. Even if some chuncks of it is already "translated" in the BBC site itself.
With a subject like this (and with others as well), you may have a many possibilities in front of you to explore.
I hope others EE members give it a stab, if not, I´ll try it tomorrow. See ya!
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39195 6 32 684
Moreover, the proportion of women among those who join the extremist group has been increasing dramatically.

a)What is behind it and what exactly is the ISIS estrategy to entice them?
b)
What are the reasons behind such attraction/rise? and what exactly is ISIS strategy to entice them?
The way it was, one could ask, he meant "what is behind the rise of woman among the group? or what is behind the attraction towards the ISIS group? That is, these are two different questions. So, in (b) I tried to fix the (what seems to me an) ambiguity.


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On a hand :!: , it treats those who it considers herege in nearly subhuman conditions, as commodities to be exchanged and given as a premium for jihadist warriors.

You should use "on the one hand" followed (at other point of the sentence, or even the paragraph) by on the other hand, to contrast ideas.
http://dictionary.cambridge.org/pt/dici ... other-hand
However, I don´t know what you meant, perhaps you wanted to state was "on the other hand" to contrast with some previous information, and not to contrast ideas of this part of the text.





As you see, I didn´t change much on the text, you were almost there, you could express yourself. It just had to retouch some grammar points!