Correção de Textos: Jackie says Cheese.

Hi, I'm new here. I like to watch series and write about the episode to improve my writing, but I don't know where i'm doing wrong, now with this forum I think that someone could show me.

That's Seventh Show
Episode: Jackie says Cheese.

In this episode Jackie, who is a rich and spoiled girl had get a job because her father ask her to choose between her boyfriend or giving her money. She and Kelson, her boyfriend was dating without her father knows. She choose to stay with Kelso, but to solve her problem about money she had to get a job. Her job was distribute cheese for the people on the street.

Thanks.

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2 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
Redseahorse 4 35 575
In this episode Jackie, a rich and spoiled girl WHO HAD GOTTEN a job because her father ASKED her to choose between her boyfriend or GIVE HER MONEY UP. She and Kelson, her boyfriend, WERE dating without her father KNOWLEDGE. She CHOSE to stay with KelsoN, but to solve her problem about money she GOT A job, WHICH CONSISTED OF DISTRIBUTING cheese for the people on the street.
PPAULO 6 49 1.3k
In this episode Jackie, a rich and spoiled girl had to get a job (or "got a job"), (*)because she had to choose between this boyfriend or her father allowance. She and Kelson, her boyfriend, were dating without her father knowing.

Or it could be:
(*)because she was made to choose between having a boyfriend/dating this boyfriend and her father allowance.

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She and Kelson, her boyfriend, were dating without her father knowledge.
(To me it may imply focus on awareness pure and simple, perhaps her father would accept their dating if a bird told him afterwards?)

She and Kelson, her boyfriend, were dating without her father knowing.
(To my thinking, here one assumes that she is doing something prohibited/not approved of by her father, should him know that, he certainly wouldn´t accept.) The focus being on her father permission/consent or lack of it.

Example:
"How can i read my girlfriends text messages on my phone without her knowing"
That is, if she knows, she certainly won´t approve such a thing.

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Anyway, it would be my word choice, though.