Correção do texto "e-mail sobre amigos"

Bem amigos tenho uma composição e gostaria que dessem uma olhada para ver se está ok.
Obrigado desde já!

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Hi Stephanie,
Thanks for your e-mail.

Of course I can tell you about my friend Roberto. He's 33, and He's a great photographer!
He's quite extrovert and very sociable, he has lots of friends. He's quite good with children. He's married and has one daughter. He has one brother and one sister and He's the other of them.
He's very hard-working, responsible and a great work in team.
Sometimes we go out to take a lot of photos with our photographer’s friends. He likes listening to music, but not forró or pagode. And He's very independent, so you won't have to look after him.
Him parents are married and he lives with his wife and daughter.
The only negative things I can think of are that He's a quite selfish, because He doesn't like to borrow his things.
I hope that's useful to you. If you need any more information about him, say to me!

Love
Cesar
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Obrigado!
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Avatar do usuário Flavia.lm 3885 1 9 86
Some minor suggestions:

escreva "he" com letra minúscula;
o que vc quis dizer com "He's the other of them" ? Que são três irmãos? Não vejo necessidade; qdo vc diz 'he has one brother and one sister' isto já está implícito.
He's very hard-working, responsible and a work well in team.
Creio que vc quis dizer "nossos amigos fotógrafos", então: our photographer friends (sem apóstrofo)
He likes to listen to music, except forró or pagode
His parents are married
The only negative thing I can think of is that he's quite selfish, he doesn't like to lend his things.
...more information about him, just let me know!

o "of course" no início me pareceu um pouco agressivo... como se vc estivesse dizendo "é óbvio", mas pode ser que seja impressão minha.
Avatar do usuário w.slayman 110
Cesar and Flavia,

One more minor suggestion for the original post.

He's quite extrovert should be; "He's quite the extrovert", or "He's quite extroverted".

I hope this helps.
Olá Flávia!

Na verdade eu quis dizer ""He's the older of them" foi falha minha :?
Valeu pelas dicas.

Obrigado.

Cesar