Correção Essay CSF - Study Objectives

Olá, alguém poderia me ajudar? Essa é minha essay para o study objectives da seleção do CSF. Gostaria que apontassem os meus maiores erros e se puder, apontar como poderia melhorar. Obrigada desde já!

I’m at the fourth semester of chemical engineering at Federal University of Goias located in Goiania/Goias in Brazil. I’ve chosen this undergraduated course influenced by my interests when I was a child. I’ve always been excited about math, phenomenals of the world and human beings, which later I discovered that it was studied by chemistry, biology and phisycs. So, while I was growing up at middle and high school I found myself in the science. I’m also interested in sociology and history, but as I see it, it just complements what I want to do in chemical engineering. I think all the areas are integrated and you can make a huge difference when you put it all of it together with your good intention to cooperate with the development of the society.

Chemical engineering is an area that has a lot of specializations. I’m not pretty sure in what I want to focus in my career. I’m curious about the food science and technology, with the applicability of the biotechnology. It’s a really significant area for me since that I’m from one of the largest food-exporting countries in the world and because food is a global concern. Food industries are one of the kinds that has an outstanding grow since the industrial revolution. And, at the new modern world people doesn’t have time for anything, as consequence, they are consuming a lot of industrialized food. Along this lines, I’m convinced that we should do our best to provide good products with the assurance that they are buying and eating food that is not poisoned but also, in fact, healthy.

Another attractive field for me is the biomedical engineering. For a while, I had the desires to study medicine, because I think the human body is an amazing machine. So, when it seems to be broken, it always have a way to be fixed. People is meant to keep themselves alive, building their families, making their own difference in the world. So, who can help, should help. But, the hospital routine is not for me. As a result, this field provides me help the public health in my country and pearhaps in the world. The United States are one of the outstanding countries in this area, which constrasts with the reality of Brazil, so for me it would be an amazing opportunity to learn about biotransport, biomechanics and metabolic engineering.

I’m also into environmental causes, so learning about the pollution prevention strategies in chemical industry, environmental compatible materials, waste minimization and the economics of pollution prevention would be delightful. It isn’t an priority for me to study it at this exchange, but if I have the opportunity, I’d be glad, because it’s an important topic for anyone who wants to work with industries.

Besides, it’s an opportunity to improve my knowledge in English. I’ve been studying since I was 13 and day after day I’m more obsessed about it. For me it’s not just a tool for my work career.