Correção de texto: My presentation [2123]
- ivan santana
- Membro desde: 19 Jan 2008, 18:33
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My name is Ivan Silva, I'm 40 years old, I'm married and I have three children. I was born in São Paulo, but today I live in the city of Maceió in the state of Alagoas. I graduated from the Technology Center of São Paulo in 2002 in the course of Automation and Projects of Electrical and Electronic Equipment. In these 15 years of activity, I worked in the area of production and quality of a Japanese company, Toshiba and currently since 2010 I am working in the company Chinesa Medical Device, manufacturer of medical and hospital equipment.
The company's management restructured the projects and engineering division, where product endings would be made according to the market and the region where they will be marketed. The unit in Brazil became responsible for the adequacy of the projects in South America, thus requiring that the entire team is the most committed to the results.
Meu nome é Ivan Silva, tenho 40 anos, sou casado e tenho três filhos. Eu nasci em São Paulo, mas hoje moro na cidade de Maceió no estado de Alagoas. Me formei no Centro de Tecnologia de São Paulo no ano de 2002 no curso de Automação e Projetos de Equipamentos eletroeletrônicos. Nestes 15 anos de atividade, atuei na área de produção e qualidade de uma empresa japonesa, Toshiba e atualmente desde 2010 estou trabalhando na empresa Chinesa Medical Device, fabricante de equipamentos médicos e hospitalares.
A diretoria da empresa reestruturou a divisão de projetos e engenharia, onde as finalizações dos produtos seriam realizadas de acordo com o mercado e a região onde serão comercializados. A unidade do Brasil passou a ser responsável pela adequação dos projetos na América do sul, exigindo desta forma que toda a equipe esteja o mais comprometida com os resultados.
The company's management restructured the projects and engineering division, where product endings would be made according to the market and the region where they will be marketed. The unit in Brazil became responsible for the adequacy of the projects in South America, thus requiring that the entire team is the most committed to the results.
Meu nome é Ivan Silva, tenho 40 anos, sou casado e tenho três filhos. Eu nasci em São Paulo, mas hoje moro na cidade de Maceió no estado de Alagoas. Me formei no Centro de Tecnologia de São Paulo no ano de 2002 no curso de Automação e Projetos de Equipamentos eletroeletrônicos. Nestes 15 anos de atividade, atuei na área de produção e qualidade de uma empresa japonesa, Toshiba e atualmente desde 2010 estou trabalhando na empresa Chinesa Medical Device, fabricante de equipamentos médicos e hospitalares.
A diretoria da empresa reestruturou a divisão de projetos e engenharia, onde as finalizações dos produtos seriam realizadas de acordo com o mercado e a região onde serão comercializados. A unidade do Brasil passou a ser responsável pela adequação dos projetos na América do sul, exigindo desta forma que toda a equipe esteja o mais comprometida com os resultados.
POWER QUESTIONS
3 respostas
Ordenar por: Data
- Marcio_Farias
- Membro desde: 10 Out 2009, 06:44
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Uma pequena sugestão -- onde houver vírgula, use ponto. Assim: "My name is Ivan Silva. I am 40 years old. I am married and I have three children. I was born in São Paulo..."
No lugar de "The unit in Brazil..." sugiro "The Chinese branch office provides customer advice, sales and order processing as well as technical support and/including adequacy of projects in..."
Mas não se vá. Nem me dê voto. Outros oferecerão outras sugestões.
No lugar de "The unit in Brazil..." sugiro "The Chinese branch office provides customer advice, sales and order processing as well as technical support and/including adequacy of projects in..."
Mas não se vá. Nem me dê voto. Outros oferecerão outras sugestões.
- PPAULO
- Localização: Rio de Janeiro-Brazil
- Membro desde: 21 Fev 2013, 23:49
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Some in-passing commentaries, since I am with several irons on the fire here:
The title/heading - I would change to something like "One presentation about me.", for the time being (I said it is in passing, so I gave it just a cursory reading). It could also be "my personal presentation", "My professional Biography" or even "Introducing me - a presentation".
The presentation (not apresentation) generally is about you, your professional bio, so I think that by the principle of KIS (keep it simple), saying that it´s "about me" says it all. At least for educational purposes, that of proofreading on this Forum.
Now to the task at hand, the beggining, I mean:
My name is Ivan Silva and I was born in Sao Paulo, but (right) now living in Maceio city, in Alagoas state. (OR even better: currently living in Maceio city...)
I'm 40 years old, married, with three children.
I graduated in Industrial Eletric Automation from (or at) the Technology Center of São Paulo in 2002...
The title/heading - I would change to something like "One presentation about me.", for the time being (I said it is in passing, so I gave it just a cursory reading). It could also be "my personal presentation", "My professional Biography" or even "Introducing me - a presentation".
The presentation (not apresentation) generally is about you, your professional bio, so I think that by the principle of KIS (keep it simple), saying that it´s "about me" says it all. At least for educational purposes, that of proofreading on this Forum.
Now to the task at hand, the beggining, I mean:
My name is Ivan Silva and I was born in Sao Paulo, but (right) now living in Maceio city, in Alagoas state. (OR even better: currently living in Maceio city...)
I'm 40 years old, married, with three children.
I graduated in Industrial Eletric Automation from (or at) the Technology Center of São Paulo in 2002...
- Donay Mendonça
- Professor de inglês com 20 anos de experiência.
- Localização: Morrinhos - Goiás
- Membro desde: 15 Abr 2008, 00:47
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Sugestões de melhoria para o texto:
Bons estudos.My name is Ivan Silva, I'm 40 years old, I'm married and I have three children. I was born in São Paulo, but today I live in the city of Maceió in the state of Alagoas. I graduated in the Technology Center of São Paulo in 2002 in Automation and Projects of Electrical and Electronic Equipment. During these 15 years as a professional, I've worked in the area of production and quality of a Japanese company, Toshiba and currently since 2010 I've been working in the company Chinesa Medical Device, manufacturer of medical and hospital equipment.
The company's management board restructured the projects and engineering division, where product endings would be made according to the market and the region where they will be sold. The unit in Brazil became responsible for the adequating of the projects in South America, thus requiring that the entire team is the most committed to the results.