Essay Ciências Sem Fronteiras - Perspectives in the U.S

Hello everybody! This is another one of my essays for the Science Without Borders program, where I need to write about my perspectives in the U.S.
Any corrections or tips will be very appreciated. Thank you! :D

I have always enjoyed learning about different cultures. When I was young, my family made sure that I would grow up knowing how important it is to understand and appreciate other cultures. It makes possible for us to explore new ideas and keep the prejudice out of our lives. The United States is known as one of the most multicultural countries since its foundations, when it received immigrants from many places of the world. Which is of the reasons I chose it as my destination for the science without borders program.

Despite growing up in Brazil, I always saw myself constantly surrounded by elements imported from the United States, such as music, movies, books and videogames. They gave me an early esteem for the English language. Now that I am about to become an engineer, it is another reason for me to dominate the language, and this exchange period will be an outstanding opportunity for me to do it. Because even though I was able to learn how to communicate proficiently in English here in Brazil, the best way for someone to become fluent is to be completely surrounded by the language.

In the last few years, Brazil has been through a large economic development. Nevertheless, many of our universities still lack the appropriate investments. So one of the main reasons I want to go to the United States is because they have most of the world’s best universities, which are always leading innovative researches. Besides offering multidisciplinary courses, meaning that the student has the liberty to focus his time studying the subjects he has more affinity.

To Study in an American university will allow me to expand my views on many aspects. First, on my academic life, since I will get the chance to learn from many great professors, besides testing my knowledge in up to date engineering laboratories. Second, on my professional life, for not only this exchange will have a very positive impact on my curriculum but also will evolve my interpersonal capabilities. Third, on my personal life, since living in a completely new place all by myself will increase my independence, and of course my social skills, since I am hoping to stablish many new friendships, not only with Americans but also with people from all over the world, who I will be sharing the land of opportunities with.

I will do my best to participate in a research program during my stay in United States, as I want to bring back to Brazil all the knowledge possible on renewable energy systems, so that I can give my contribution for the establishment of a clean energy culture in my country. For this reason, I want to keep researching upon my return as well, after all, learning does not stop and we still have a challenging, but exciting, way to go in order to guarantee a sustainable society.

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Avatar do usuário Telma Regina 22725 9 58 570
Some corrections and suggestions to improve your text:

I have always enjoyed learning about different cultures. When I was *younger, my family (made sure) **ensured that I would grow up knowing how important it is to understand and appreciate (other) different cultures. (It permits) This allows us to explore new ideas and keep the prejudice out of our lives.

The United States is known as one of the most multicultural countries since its discovery, (when) as it received immigrants from many places of the world, which is of one the reasons why I chose it as my destination for the Science Without Borders Program.

In spite of/regardless of growing up in Brazil, I always found myself constantly surrounded by elements imported from the United States, such as music, movies, books, and videogames. (They) This gave me an early inspiration to learn the English language. Now that I am about to become an engineer, this exchange program could (possibly) be an outstanding opportunity to (learn the) use and develop my English language skills. ***Despite being able to fairly communicate in English here in Brazil, I think the best way for someone to become fluent is to be completely surrounded by the language.

(In) During the last few years, Brazil has been through (a) large economic development. Nevertheless, many of our universities still lack the appropriate investments. So (one) another of the main reasons I want to go to the United States is because some of the world’s best universities are there, which lead in many innovative researches while offering multidisciplinary courses. This means that the student has the freedom to focus his time studying the subjects that he has more affinity with.

Studying in an American university will allow me to expand my views on many aspects. Firstly, my academic life will get the chance to learn from many great professors, besides testing my knowledge in up-to-date engineering laboratories. Secondly, my professional life will have a very positive impact on my curriculum while evolving my interpersonal abilities. Thirdly, my personal life, through living in a new place alone, may increase my independence, and of course my social skills, since I am hoping to establish many new friendships, not only with Americans, but also with people from all over the world, whom I will be sharing the land of opportunities with.

I look forward to doing my best to participate in a research program during my stay in United States, as I want to bring back to Brazil all the knowledge possible on renewable energy systems in order that I can give my contribution to a maturing clean energy culture in my country. For this reason, I want to keep researching upon my return as well always, after all, learning does not stop and we still have a challenging, but exciting, way to go in order to guarantee a sustainable society.

Comments:
*Most of the times you say "when I was young" when you're old. I don't think you're old, are you?
**It's best to say "ensured" in this case.
***You should be more specific here. Some English courses offer the opportunity for the student to be surrounded by the language.

(Try to be more positive and concise with your words, particularly regarding your opinions of Brazil. Such a negative approach may put the interviewer off, especially when you're applying for collaborative research).
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Thank you very much for your corrections and suggestions Telma.
Yeah, I meant to write "younger" in that paragraph. I'm 20. :lol:
As you said, I should have been more positive with my opinion of Brazil. I hope they take easy on me. :D
Thanks again.