Have you the guts to plunge in? (The dismal lake tale)

OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
England(North) 1945.

Two men stood by a murky-watered lake in a sunny but sad-looking day. Many people would certainly call them crazy just for being there in that moment. Yet, what was there in the lake that spread so much fear and panic? Local lore had it that everyone,whomever dove into it would be swallowed by the creatures who dwelt that strange and place. It was even said that ghosts and wights had been seen by the lake.
However, the two men did not believe in those tales. They also did not believe that ghosts and other creatures like that did exist. That was the motive why they'd come that day, they would be the men that had enough courage to plunge into the lake. The men were named Andrew and Bill. Andrew was a big, beefy man with a beard and Bill was rather tall and even handsome. Who were they? We'll probably never know.
'I've a bunch of things to do, I'm walking" 'No! Said Andrew, a bit of anger in his hoarse voice.'Haven't you the guts to plunge in?' If we don't do that we shall be called cravens, I will not cower before this lake again! Am I clear? 'Aye'. 'Let us do it once and for all' Bill stammered. Said that the two men dived into what'd be the worst moment in their whole lives. After that day, nobody saw the men again...

I wrote this little text, Can you check any mistake for me guys? =)

Anúncio Converse grátis por 15 minutos com um professor e verifique como está o seu nível de inglês. Perder o medo de se comunicar é o primeiro passo para a fluência. Cadastre-se na Cambly e experimente o método sem compromisso.

Iniciar Conversação
12 respostas
OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
To be continued.. ;)
Say, Estudante, what happened to the men, did they take a one-way trip or something?

IMWTK
OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
They should've believed the stories about the lake, now it's late haha ;)

It's a crazy story. I'm just trying to improve my writing, it sucks..
OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
I think I will record me readin this text aloud. What do you guys think?
OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
The Lake - Much time later

It has been many years since the two men dived into the lake to die. Yet, everything around it looks just the same. From the shiny flowers to the blue sky and the dull dirty water. Even the people that live near the lake continue to be afraid of it, too afraid even to talk about it. But, rumours spread like fire and there are always people who like to do this favour. Stories were told about people who'd had terrible deaths in the lake and it raised many people's curiosity and that can be a very dangerous thing. specially if you live in a place like that. After all, it was the curiosity that was responsible for slaying those people.
So, the two lads who star our story today had listened incountable times to bloodcurdling tales about the ones who tried to show other people they were wrong and ended up murdered by whatever was that in the lake.

''You sure you wanna do it''? asked the taller of the two.
''Aye, if we don't do that now, we'll never do it.''

After saying that sentence, that he didn't know would be the very last in his sad life, he and the other dived into the bad-looking lake. When they could finally reach the surface the taller said- We did it! Nothing happened to us. - 3 seconds later, his throat was slit violently while his friend watched all screaming loudly as he could, till he wasn't able to scream any more...



Isso tá fazendo cada vez menos sentido kk ;)
Anúncio Descubra seu nível de inglês em 15 minutos! - Converse grátis por 15 minutos com um professor e verifique como está o seu inglês.

Começar agora!
OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
It has been many years since the two men dived into the lake to die. Yet, everything around it looks just the same. From the shiny flowers to the blue sky and the dull dirty water. Even the people that live near the lake continue to be afraid of it, too afraid even to talk about it. But, rumours spread like fire and there are always people who like to do this favour.
Camila Oliveira 1 13 31
Hey, segue a correção da primeira parte. Claro, não quer dizer que as alterações que fiz devam ser seguidas à risca!

Two men stood by a murky-watered lake on a sunny but sad-looking day. A lot of people would certainly call them crazy just for being there at that moment.

There was something about that lake which spread so much fear and panic. What could it be? According to the local tale, everyone who dives into the lake would be swallowed by the creatures who dwell that strange place. It is said that even ghosts and wights had been seen by the lake.

However, the two men did not believe in those tales. They did not believe in the existence of ghosts or such creatures as well. In fact, that was the reason why they were there that day, they would be the men who were courageous enough to plunge into that lake.
Camila Oliveira 1 13 31
They were Andrew and Bill. Andrew was a muscular, big, bearded man, and Bill was rather tall and handsome. Who were they? We will probably never know.

"I have a bunch of things to do, I'm leaving." "No!", said Andrew with a bit of anger in his hoarse voice, "Don't you have the guts to plunge in? If we don't do that, we will be called cowards and I will not cringe away from this lake again! Am I clear?" "Aye". "Let's do this once and for all", Bill stuttered. That said, the two men dove into what would be the worst moments of their lives. After that day, no one has ever seen them again...
Camila Oliveira 1 13 31
OEstudantedeIngles escreveu:It has been many years since the two men dived into the lake to die. Yet, everything around it looks just the same. From the shiny flowers to the blue sky and the dull dirty water. Even the people that live near the lake continue to be afraid of it, too afraid even to talk about it. But, rumours spread like fire and there are always people who like to do this favour.
Sua pronúncia está boa. E para te ajudar, vou gravar também para que você possa praticar, ok?
OEstudantedeIngles 2 16 113
Hey, Camila! Thanks a lot for recording it, it helps a lot =) e sua pronúncia é incrível!

E obrigado pelas correções. Mas como o texto se passa na Inglaterra há muito tempo atrás, tentei colocar alguns regionalismos, como o uso do have sem um auxiliar nas perguntas ''Have you the guts to plunge in?'' e ''Haven't you the guys to plunge in'' e também o uso da contração 'I've' mesmo o Have sendo o verbo principal da frase, como em ''I've a bunch of things to do'.. Esses usos eram bastante comuns no Inglês britânico antigamente.

Thanks again ;)
Anúncio Descubra seu nível de inglês em 15 minutos! - Converse grátis por 15 minutos com um professor e verifique como está o seu inglês.

Começar agora!
Hey Camila Oliveira. What a sweet and clear reading. Your pronunciation will help me to fix many mistakes.
Camila Oliveira 1 13 31
Oh, thank you guys! That's sweet =)

Eu imaginei isso ao corrigir seu texto, tanto que nem continuei. Vi que você até fez uso de expressões obsoletas, mas que na época eram bem utilizadas. O seu texto está ótimo, e como disse, minhas alterações não precisam ser seguidas, afinal, fiz uma "correção" para uma linguagem mais atual, o que não vai se adaptar para seu objetivo.

De qualquer forma, espero ter ajudado de alguma maneira and keep up the good work! =)
Ainda precisa de ajuda? Confira algumas opções:
  1. Clique no botão "Responder" (abaixo) e faça sua pergunta sobre este assunto;
  2. Faça uma nova pergunta;
  3. Converse grátis com um professor nativo por 15 minutos: Saiba como!