He Who laughs last Laughs Best and little doubt about Slangs

Avatar do usuário Gustavo Sena 185 4
I wrote a composition and I'd like someone to correct it,it is about the proverb 'He who laughs last,laughs best',When I was writing it,you may notice that I used some slangs with the word 'suck' for instance,'suck it up,suck up,sucker,etc'.
Here in Brazil,if we write a text with slangs it will problably be wrong and the teacher will tell you to rewrite it.
My doubt is,the slangs I used in the following composition,helped me a lot to express what I meant,they fit very well in the text in my opinion,but is it wrong to use these sort of slangs in these case.
Here is the text:

People ought to be very close to make fun of each other,some people are sucks,they act like a baby going around making fun of everyone,if you've already been reached by one of them,suck it up,don't complain or cry by any means.
The best Thing you can do is to hold on,hold your horses,have some patience,these sort of guys heardly ever aren't found by someone who is as boring as they are.
To prove my point,I have seen recently on the news a group of people making fun of a begger who was asking money to people,only for feeding his two sons,they kicked him,punched him,so,this is a serious problem which takes place mostly In Brazil,where we don't have impunity,enabling people to overcome their ceilings.
If you are a Brazilian or if you live in a country similar to it,don't suck up,don't be afraid of claimingfor your rights because of the power given to our liar government,one thing is for sure,people usually say "The justice always lasts",don't trust them anymore,it is not true,neither is the proverb "He who laughs last,Laughs best,because the ones who have been laughing at the population are the own crooks.

Where do you think I have made a mistake throughout this text,what rating from 0 to 10 would you give this composition,be honest,sincere.

Thanks
Gustavo :roll:
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Avatar do usuário Thomas 14290 7 58 283
People ought to be very close to make fun of each other,some people are sucks (I have no idea what you mean here. It cannot be "suckers".),they act like babies going around making fun of everyone,if you've already been reached by one of them,suck it up,don't complain or cry by any means.
The best Thing you can do is to hold on,hold your horses,have some patience,this sort of guys hardly ever is found by someone who is as boring as they are.
To prove my point,I have seen recently on the news a group of people making fun of a beggar who was asking for money from people,only for feeding his two sons,they kicked him,punched him,so,this is a serious problem which takes place mostly In Brazil,where we don't have impunity,enabling people to overcome their ceilings.
If you are a Brazilian or if you live in a country similar to it,don't suck up,don't be afraid of demanding your rights because of the power given to our lying government,one thing is for sure,people usually say "Justice always lasts",don't trust them anymore,it is not true,neither is the proverb "He who laughs last,Laughs best,because the ones who have been laughing at the population are the own (I don't understand. "...are now the crooks"?) crooks.

Yes, you made many mistakes. That only means you are learning. The more you write and the more mistakes you make, the better your English will become. Ne careful with punctuation. Good luck!
Avatar do usuário Gustavo Sena 185 4
Thanks Thomas for your corrections.
I found some mistakes by myself...
I learned that when someone is a suck,it means that she or he acts like a baby,I haven't realized what was my mistake there.
"Where we don't have impunity" it should have been "Where we Have impunity,'cause in Brazil we have impunity" ^^
In this part of the text "don't trust them anymore,it is not true,neither is the proverb "He who laughs last,Laughs best,because the ones who have been laughing at the population are the own crooks."I had given before,an example of a group that made fun of a beggar,and for me they are crooks,criminals,and in the last paragraph I completed saying that these criminals are who is laughing at the population,do you understand thomas or is it still wrong,I shouldn't have written the word crooks?
Though,I made a lot of mistakes when I wrote this text,I was comparing the original with yours,and I found many mainly in the words and in the punctuation,thanks for correcting it and I am going to study it to learn from my mistakes.
Gustavo :D
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49115 21 73 1138
Dicas:

Gíria: slang
Gírias: slang words, slang expressions

Recomendo não dizer "slangs".

Here in Brazil, if we write a text with slang words it will problably be wrong and the teacher will tell you to rewrite it.
My doubt is the slang expressions I used in the following composition, helped me a lot to express what I meant,they fit very well in the text in my opinion,but is it wrong to use these sort of slang words in these case.
Avatar do usuário Gustavo Sena 185 4
But what's your answer Dr.Donay,is it wrong to use this type of slang words in a formal english text,'cause you know that if we do in Brazil the teacher gives you a low rating.
Thanks for your answers
Gustavo
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49115 21 73 1138
But what's your answer Dr.Donay,is it wrong to use this type of slang words in a formal english text,'cause you know that if we do in Brazil the teacher gives you a low rating.


Yes, I think you shouldn't use informal vocabulary/slang words in a formal English text.

Escreva "inglês" com maiúscula -> English

Dê um espaço entre pontos e vírgulas:

In this part of the text "don't trust them anymore,it is not true,neither is the proverb


=>
In this part of the text "don't trust them anymore, it is not true, neither is the proverb [forma recomendada]


=>
English is easy.I like English.


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English is easy. I like English. [forma recomendada]
Avatar do usuário Gustavo Sena 185 4
Well, I rewrote the text, This time following the Dr.Donay and Thoma's recommendations, I hope I've improved.

He Who Laughs Last, Laughs Best

People should be very close to make fun of each other, some people act like toddlers going around making funf of everyone, If you've already been reached by one of them, don't complain or cry by any means, that's only going to make them get happier and make more fun of you.
The best thing you can do is hold on, have some patience and hold your horses. These sort of guys hardly ever aren't found by someone who isn't as much boring as they are.
To prove my point, I have watched recently on the news a group of people making fun of a beggar who was asking for money only for feeding his two sons, they kicked and punched him. This is a serious problem which takes place mostly in Brazil, where we have impunity, enabling people to overcome their ceilings.
In you are a Brazilian or if you live in a country similar to it, don't be afraid of claiming for your rights because of power given to our liar goverment, one thing is for sure, people usually say "The Justice Always Lasts", don't trust them anymore, it isn't true, and in this case neither is the proverb "He who laughs last,Laugh best", because the ones who've been laughing at the population are the own thieves,crooks,criminals.

Notice that this time I didn't use any slang words and followed the sugestions.
Thanks for your help.
Gustavo.
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49115 21 73 1138
Sugestões:

People should be very close to make fun of each other, some people act like toddlers going around making fun of everyone. If you've already been reached by one of them, don't complain or cry by any means, that's only going to make them get happier and make more fun of you.
The best thing you can do is hold on, have some patience and hold your horses. These sort of guys hardly ever aren't found by someone who isn't as much boring as they are.
To prove my point, I have watched recently on the news a group of people making fun of a beggar who was asking for money only for feeding his two sons, they kicked and punched him. This is a serious problem which takes place mostly in Brazil, where we have impunity, enabling people to overcome their ceilings.

In you are a Brazilian or if you live in a country similar to it, don't be afraid of claiming for your rights because of power given to the liars in our goverment, one thing is for sure, people usually say "The Justice Always Lasts", don't trust them anymore, it isn't true, and in this case neither is the proverb "He who laughs last, Laugh best", because the ones who've been laughing at the population are the own thieves ,crooks, criminals.



Melhorou. Com o tempo vai ficar ainda melhor, Gustavo!