Hey kid, what's that in your nose?


DMV = Detran (Department of Motor Vehicles)
Hopscotch = Amarelinha
Go to town = desvairar, to give something a lot of attention and do something to the full extent. I translated as viajar, ex.: ele está viajando naquele sorvete. :!: Goint to town on himself has a different meaning.

by Dan Kieran

Do your kids have noses? Mine do, too!

What have they stuck up theirs? Mostly fingers at our house. All the time, nearly 24 hours a day. What is up in there? They seem to bliss out in a trance and stand there, finger in/finger out, unable to hear or see a parent trying desperately to get them to stop. "Honey, get your finger out of there. Honey? Honey?! HONEY?!" Finally a grab of the arm wakes them up, gets their mind back into our dimension and they become whole again.

Where does their mind go when they have a finger up their nostril? Is there a "travel to the astral plane" button in their sinuses? If so, where does it go when we get older? I would love to have one for all those adult times I would rather not suffer through. Trip to the dentist or time to head to the DMV? No problem, I'll be in the fifth dimension playing hopscotch with unicorns and talking rabbits. If the kids were doing that when they were nasal mining, I wouldn't be so concerned when they stood in the middle of the living room picking away faster than a banjo player.

Parents have themselves to blame for this. We work so hard with our little ones, pointing out their noses then pointing out our own, asking them where their noses are, pinching their noses as a bizarre greeting. We play the "Got Your Nose" game almost as soon as they can focus their eyes enough to see us. We fixate on their noses as a way of getting them to be self aware and teaching them their body parts.

And when they finally start to be self aware and do exactly what we ask them to do, they take it one step too far, and in the finger goes. Not even tentatively either; it goes in full force the first time. They jam it up in there expecting to find ... what exactly? I know what they might find, and that bothers me.

Because the first place a finger goes after it's been a nose is the mouth. It appears something natural, something instinctual, that tells us as children that after you pick your nose you stick that finger in your mouth. It's like a exercise routine: in the nose, in the mouth, in the nose, in the mouth, repeat ad nauseam.

There are few things grosser than picking your nose, and one of those things is putting that same finger in your mouth. And don't think it's just my children being gross. I've seen enough little ones going to town on their nostrils to know my kids are in good company. Not that you have to see them to know what they are doing. Go to any store in town and sooner or later you will hear the hissed scolding, whispered/shouted through clenched teeth: "Take ... that ... out ... of ... there. No, don't put it in your mouth!"

Well, at least it's better than when their hands are in their pants.

Fonte: STLToday

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