the Rules [clearly written by a female]
For those of you who don't already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship.
The female always makes the rules.
These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
If rule number six applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.
Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
The female always gets the last word!
These rules are subject to change as the female sees fit.
angry - com raiva, nervoso
apologize - desculpar
bodily harm - dano físico
change her mind - mudar de idéia
consent - consentimento
know (know, knew, known) - conhecer, saber
last word - última palavra
make (make, made, made) - feitas
male - macho
misunderstanding - mal entendido
never - nunca
prior - antecipada
relationship - relação
remain - permanecer
rules - regras
subject to change - passíveis de mudança
unless - a menos que
upset - desapontado
vagrant - vago
wrong - errado