Correção de "motivation letter"

Hello! Alguém poderia fazer uma revisão e me dizer se está boa essa resposta para 'How will this training help you achieve your goals?'

Developing the abilities to research, work and apply techniques that lead to the sustainable development is what I aim the most on my professional life. Studying in a Grande École as ****** will help me develop an interdisciplinary perspective to work on projects applied to the sustainable development and, by that, give me a competitive edge in my professional and academic career. Besides, it will be a great opportunity to learn French and improve my English skills, which will open up many opportunities for me in the future. Having the oportunity to study at ***** Campus next to other universities and companies will provide me great professional and personal growth and also facilitate the creation of a prestigious network within the campus organizations.

Obrigada

TESTE DE NÍVEL
Faça um teste de inglês e descubra seu nível em 10 minutos! Este teste foi desenvolvido por professores experientes. O resultado sai na hora e com gabarito. INICIAR TESTE
1 resposta
Redseahorse 4 35 574
Sugestões..

' I believe it will help me by developing the abilities of researching, working, and techniques applying, which may lead to sustainable development, that is what I aim the most in my professional life.
Studying in such a notable institution as ..., it will help me to evolve an interdisciplinary perspective for working on sustainable development applied projects and, throughout that, to enable myself a competitive edge in professional and academic career; besides, it will be a great opportunity to learn French and improve my English skills, which could open up many doors for me in the future. Having the chance of studying at ... Campus, next to other universities and companies it will give me a remarkable professional and personal growth, and yet, it may also facilitate the creation of a prestigious network within the campus organizations. '