Correção de texto "Presentation about IPAD"

tate_
Hi there,

I'll have a presentation about IPAD and i'd like know if it's all ok.

Thankss

The text:

Good evening, my name's Tatiane and i'll talk about the IPAD in Brazil, its successor, the IPAD 2 e some differences between them.

I don't know if you remember of our last presentation when we talked about Brazil be the fastest growing economies in the world, making it a attractive market for companies. However, many firms haven't been able to tap fully into this potential as high import tariffs make their goods expensive.

To illustrate it, we have a comment from Steve Jobs (Apple's CEO) about this: (in this moment, i read the comment from slide)

But now we have nice news. In April of this year, Foxconn (the biggest manufacturer of Apple products in the world) announced that it would be moving production of the IPad and other Apple products (incluses the computer line) to Brazil, in Jundiaí, SP, where it could begin production before the end of 2011.

According to Abinee (Associação Brasileira da Indústria Elétrica e Eletrônica) the price should decrease by 30% with tax reduction and local production. Today, the most basic model costs around 1400 (fourteen hundred) reais ($500) and with this reduction, would cost only 900 (nine hundred) reais. This tax reduction was one of the requirements of Foxconn to produce the IPAD here.

Now, the IPAD 2, a consumer dreams

Officially released in March 2011, the IPAD 2 is set to be a sequence of sucesses from Apple due a set of interesting new features. Pressed by competition from Motorola XOOM and Sansung Galaxy Tab, Apple launches the IPAD 2, once again betting on its design.

In this chart, we can see the differences between them as for exemple the twice prossessing speed, 2 integrated cameras and its recent iOS and sensors. IPAD 2 is slimmer, lighter and faster than first IPAD, with a new border format and 2 color options, black or white.
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5 respostas
Ordenar por: Data

Donay Mendonça 60515 21 100 1464
Tate,

Algumas sugestões de melhoria para seu texto:

The text:

Good evening, my name's Tatiane and I'll talk about the IPAD in Brazil, its successor - the IPAD 2, and some differences between them.

I don't know if you remember our last presentation when we talked about Brazil being the fastest-growing economy in the world, making it an attractive market for companies. However, many firms haven't been able to tap fully into this potential as high import taxes make their goods expensive.

To illustrate it, we have a comment from Steve Jobs (Apple's CEO) about this: (in this moment, I read the comment from the slide.)

But now we have good news. In April, this year, Foxconn (the biggest manufacturer of Apple products in the world) announced that it will be moving production of the IPad and other Apple products (incluses the computer line) to Brazil, in Jundiaí, SP, where it could begin production before the end of 2011.

According to Abinee (Associação Brasileira da Indústria Elétrica e Eletrônica) the price should decrease by 30% with tax reduction and local production. Today, the most basic model costs around 1400 (fourteen hundred) reais ($500) and with this reduction, would cost only 900 (nine hundred) reais. This tax reduction was one of the requirements of Foxconn to produce the IPAD here.

Now, the IPAD 2, the technology of your dreams!

Officially launched in March, 2011, the IPAD 2 is set to be a sequence of sucesses from Apple due to a set of interesting new features. Pressed by competition from Motorola XOOM and Sansung Galaxy Tab, Apple launches the IPAD 2, once again betting on its design.

In this chart, we can see the differences between them - for example the double processing speed, 2 integrated cameras and its recent iOS and sensors. IPAD 2 is slimmer, lighter and faster than first IPAD, with a new border format and 2 color options, black or white.


*Mais colegas poderão dar outras sugestões. Seu texto ficou "great".


Bem-vinda ao fórum!

tate_
Thanks a lot donay!

Have a nice day.

Henry Cunha 10170 3 16 182
Complemento. Logo no início, quando falando de algo que vamos fazer em seguida, melhor utilisar "I'm going to talk".

(Brazil is not the fastest growing economy in the world, by the way. Certainly one of the fastest.)

Very nice text!

tate_
I agree with you about Brazil is not the fastest growing enocomy hehe but i read it in a text. btw, thaankss

Henry Cunha 10170 3 16 182
Incidentally, some alarming news about Foxconn in today's paper:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-o ... le2030160/

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