Essay para o Ciência sem Fronteiras - Study Objectives

Study Objectives: In an essay of no less than 250 words and no more than 500 words, write a clear and detailed description of your study objectives. Be specific about your field of study and your specialized interests within this field.

I have been studying Information Systems at the Federal Fluminense Institute of Education, Science and Technology (IF Fluminense), one of the best Brazilian institutions, since 2012. This Institute offers great Research opportunities and focuses in technology. Therefore, the course and research projects have provided me some important concepts and a solid base that I need in my career. However, I know that this Institute has its limits and that studying in other university can give me great opportunities. I firmly believe that studying in an American university will provide me more knowledge, more specific interdisciplinary courses and opportunities that are not found in Brazil.
Since High School, I have always been working in research projects. First, I attended a project of the Brazilian Government and the Petrobras Company called Petrobras University, form 2010 to 2012. In this project I studied the renewable energy. At that time I was already studying at IF Fluminense. Now, in the college, I am engaged in a research project called "Integration of a Text-Mining Software to the Moodle Platform", since 2012. In this project I use text-mining to identify the level of Social Presence of the students in educational forums and chats on the Moodle Platform (platform used by IF Fluminense). In this research project I developed the GeraFiles, a software whose main function is help the analyzer software in the process of text-mining, generating the necessary files for it. In this research project I have been studying programming languages and I am fascinated for them. First I worked with the Java language. Now, I am using Javascript associated with others languages like Ajax, PHP, HTML, CSS, XML and MYSQL. In other words, in this research project I have been working with web development and this is the field that interests me the most.
Besides I use web development in my research project, I will also work with this field in my final paper where I will develop a software that analyzes the social presence of the students in a different manner from the manner the software I am currently using in my researches does . This future software will have a web architecture and will be integrated to the Moodle, facilitating the analyses. In this way, it will improve the analyses and will be available for the professors online on the Moodle Platform.
For these reasons, I would like to study subjects that involve web development, Database Management Systems and text mining. But there are others subjects that interests me too much like Artificial Intelligence Techniques and Mobile.
In conclusion, I would like to apply Computer Science to study Text Mining, web development and its uses in educational approaches like social presence. I am really motivated to engage in this program because I strongly believe that it can improve my research and academic skills. Furthermore, it will give me the opportunity of bring new knowledge to Brazil and be better prepared for the labor market and, consequently, help in the development of my country.
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I have been studying Information Systems at the Institute of Science and Technology education - Instituto Federal Fluminesen (IFF), one of the best Brazilian institutions, since 2012. This Institute offers great Research opportunities and It focuses in technology, therefore, the course and research projects have provided me some important concepts and a solid educational background/experience that I need in my career.

However,I know that this Institute has its limits and that studying in other university can give me great opportunities. I firmly believe that studying in an American university will provide me more knowledge, more specific interdisciplinary courses and opportunities that are not found in Brazil.


[great – I would use "excellent opportunities", but perhaps "great" will do.]




Since High School, I have always been working in research projects. First, I attended a project of the Brazilian Government and the Petrobras Company called Petrobras University, from 2010 to 2012. In wich, I studied the renewable energy. At that time I was already studying at IF Fluminense.

[contradiction in terms, not outright, but it may be confusing to the reader. You mix high school with more recent projects, this could be in the first paragraph.]



Lately, at (the)college, I am working in a new project. A program of integration of text-mining software to the Moodle Platform, since 2012. In wich, I use text-mining to identify the level of social activity/interaction in the forums and chats on the Moodle Platform (platform used by IF Fluminense).


[I don´t know if Moodle it´s a proprietary software of IFF, or if it only uses it, having installed in its machines. Anyway sayint that IFF uses it, makes no distinction.]



In this research I developed the GeraFiles, a software whose main function create and manage the data to be retrieved by the analyzer software in the process of text-mining, so the end-user will have only the relevant information. I got fascinated with the study of programming languages in the process.
First I worked with the Java language. Now, I am using Javascript associated with others languages like Ajax, PHP, HTML, CSS, XML and MYSQL. In other words, in this research project I have been working with Web development, that is the field that interests me the most.



Also
[Now, I am using Javascript associated with an assortment of languages like Ajax, PHP, HTML, CSS, XML and MYSQL.] OR you could just have said "with an assortment of languages" without citing all these.






Besides, ( ) I also am working with Web development to my final paper, where I will develop a software that analyzes the social interaction (or analyzes the activity...) of the students, only that in different way, not the way I had studied at IFF.
This new software will have a Web-friendly architecture and will be integrated to the Moodle, facilitating the analyses. Hence/thus, it will improve the analyses and will be available for the professors, online on the Moodle Platform.

From the above/above said reasons, I would like to study Web development subjects, such as Database Management Systems and text mining. But there are others things that interest me a lot, like Artificial Intelligence Techniques and Mobile (Mobille applicative programs?). 


In conclusion, I woul like to apply all or some of this knowledge garnered and its uses in educational approaches, like the study of social interactions. I am really motivated to join this program because I strongly believe that it can improve my research and academic skills.
Furthermore, it will give me the opportunity of bringing new knowledge to Brazil along with better preparing me for the labor market, consequently, helping in the development of my country in the future.

In your original writing you used the word “research” a lot, 12 times to be exact. Try to use synonyms or related ideas not to be repetitive.


You also used the word “project(s)” 10 times, which may denote that you need build up your English vocab some more. Doing so, you are going to say what you mean in a more varied way.
Well, I used a dictionary and the


In the chunck “one of the best Brazilian institutions, since 2012.” it may give the impression that the institution is “one of the best” from 2012 until now. It turned the 1st paragraph ambiguous, one doesn´t decide if you “have been studying there since the year 2012, or if it is the best since 2012.”
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For being lazy, I am not going over all your text again, but here goes a revised (perhaps more neaty and tidied) beginning...

My Study Objectives/Why my dream is to study computing abroad.


Since high school, back in 2012, I have been studying Information Systems at the Federal Fluminense Institute of Education, Science and Technology (IF Fluminense), one of the best Brazilian institutions.
It focuses in technology, the course and research projects have provided me some important concepts and a solid educational experience/background, *so needed in the/this career.
However, studying in other university can give me excellent/great/greater opportunities. I firmly believe that studying in an American university will provide me more knowledge, more specific interdisciplinary courses and opportunities that are not found in Brazil.




*so needed in the career - it´s a bit cliché, it could be left out. I left it here anyway. No big sin in leaving it there.
Muito obrigada! vou dar uma acertada no texto. :)
Hello, there,
This bit of information has a mistake: The course and research projects have provided me some important concepts

This is what you want to say:
1) The course and research projects have provided me with some important concepts
2) The course and research projects have provided some important concepts for me

The first one is certainly the most common.
http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.c ... sh/provide
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That´s rith, it lacked the preposition "with", it was a case of '"haste makes waste". Many thanks. ;)
As for one being more common over the other, I agree. I just ask the learner to be aware that doesn´t means it´s forbidden.



http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/provide
to give something wanted or needed to (someone or something) : to supply (someone or something) with something



http://www.thefreedictionary.com/provide
1. 'provide with'
To provide something that someone needs or wants means to give it to them or make it available to them. You say that you provide someone with something.


They provided him with money to buy new clothes.
We can provide you with information that may help you to find a job.
Be Careful!
You must use with in sentences like these. Don't say, for example, 'They provided him money to buy new clothes'.



========================

2. 'provide for'
You can also say that you provide something for someone.

The animals provide food for their young.
The hospital provides care for thousands of sick children.