Correção de essay: sucessful in life

To my thinking, nowadays, if somebody wants to be successful in her life, what it takes it is needs to have great skills in what he reality likes to do and believes. If I have chosen a main characteristic to be successful in life, my choice likely have been intelligence, because it is a strengths, to be able to thinking the best choices, and we can iron out some problem that appear a while our life. Today, people who are intelligent, they can get ahead steady and more quickly professionally, and they can stand for the different opinion of others, and manage the conflicts of some people cluster, and make feel other well inwardly. Most of the time, people look up to intelligence people, and looking for them to canvass counselling and to get countless opinions. I go along with that that intelligent of someone, it is a knack characteristic that stand out in a group of people. It also be able to stand up for her ideas, and take over important positions.

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Avatar do usuário Artful Dodger 4500 6 13 103
speaker escreveu:Nowadays, in my opinion, if somebody wants to be successful in life,they need to have great skills in what they really like to do. If I had to choose a main characteristic to be successful in life, my choice would likely be intelligence; being able to make the best choices is a strength. Today, intelligent people can get ahead steadily and more quickly at work, because they can deal with different opinions; they can manage conflicts in the group and make the others feel inward. Most of the time, people look up to intelligent peers. Intelligence is a characteristic that stands out in a group of people; who has it, is able to stand up for their ideas and take over important positions.

Observações:

[1] Você começa o primeiro o primeiro parágrafo com a expressão to my thinking, que não é apropriada por ser utilizada no meio ou fim de frases. Assim, sugiro substituí-la por in my opinion, mais adequada ao caso.

[2] Foi empregada na mesma frase uma palavra de gênero neutro (someone) e, logo em seguida, um pronome feminino (she) seguido de um masculino (he). Isso deixa seu texto confuso; prefira o uso de expressões neutras, a não ser que sua redação esteja extensivamente se referindo a um gênero em particular.

[3] Para cenários hipotéticos, utilize o segundo condicional.
[https://www.englishexperts.com.br/second-conditional/]

[4] Strengths é plural. O singular é strength.

[5] Steady é um adjetivo; a sua sentença pedia por um advérbio: steadily.

[6] Inwardly é um advérbio; sua frase precisava de um adjetivo: inward.

[7] O seguinte trecho estava muito confuso; editei partes dele para que fizesse sentido: ' I go along with that that intelligent of someone, it is a knack characteristic that stand out in a group of people. It also be able to stand up for her ideas, and take over important positions.'

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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39165 6 32 684
Just some comments on the fly.

Use ''succesful" (doubling the "c"), it´s a problem to us Portuguese speaking, such doubling of words like: accident, collect, difficult, aggressive, traffic, syllables, tunnel...and many many others.

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And beware of some words that may come with different meanings when they come with paired consonants, to make the point:

Below - underneath, lower than, farther down etc.
Bellow - To shout in a deep voice, to yell.