Correção de texto: E-mail para empresa

565 2 12
Olá pessoal,

Preciso enviar um e-mail para uma empresa para convidar eles para participarem de uma entrevista para meu TCC.

Podem me ajudar a verificar se está correta a gramática e se o o tom de formalidade está bom?

Obrigado!!


Hello,

My name is Matheus, I am an undergraduate Business Administration student at XXX (Curitiba, Brazil). I am developing my paper thesis on the benefits of plant-based meat regarding the environment, animal welfare, health and society in general.

I would like to know if you are willing to participate in an interview about the subject. I assure you that every piece of information will be strictly utilized for academic purposes.

I understand how valuable Beyond Meat is for the plant-based meat market, being a pioneer in this field and a role model for worldwide corporations looking to create meat from plants. Your participation would be great for my project.

We can do the interview through video conference or I can send you the list of questions by e-mail. The questions encompass subjects like demand forecast, target audience, price, innovation and differentitation strategies.

In copy is my thesis advisor e-mail.

Best regards,

Matheus.
2 respostas
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14560 2 23 306
Congratulações pelo texto! Ele está muito bom, de fato.
Abaixo, como sugestão, eu o reescrevi com uma ou outra correção ortográfica e de sinais de pontuação, e com poucas alterações que poderão torná-lo mais formal.

Dear (Mr. Name, Ms., Friend, Customer, etc.),

My name is Matheus, I am an undergraduate Business Administration student at XXX (Curitiba, Brazil). Currently, I am developing my paper thesis on the benefits of plant-based meat regarding environmental and wildlife conservation, health, and society in general.

I would like to know if you are willing to participate in an interview about this subject. I assure you that every piece of information will be strictly utilized for academic purposes.

Being a pioneer in this field, and a role-model for worldwide corporations endeavouring to create meat from plants, I understand how valuable "Beyond Meat" is for the plant-based meat market. Your participation in my project would be truly appreciated.

The interview might be done, either through video conference or an inquiry e-mail. The questions encompass various subjects, such as demand forecasting, customer targeting, pricing, innovation, and differentiation strategies.

In copy is my thesis advisor's e-mail.

Best regards,

Matheus.  
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I like the addressing made by RedSeaHorse, "Dear Mister" instead of "hello" is more respectful to the reader, the communication would mean business somehow. In normal, to buddy, a peer student or something like that, wouldn´t have any problem with "hello'.

Where it reads "I am an undergraduate Business Administration student at XXX (Curitiba, Brazil)." I got puzzled at first. The first thing that sprung to my mind was to replace "at" by "in" since it was in Brazil, and XXX could be a place/state.
But then, I was fortunate not acting out my hurry, it struck me that XXX meant the institution (university, company, what you have).
By the way (and one aside, almost unrelated note - but not completely unrelated): XXX could bring saucy thougts by association. Some people out there would think of XXX videos, etc. Shame on them, for their dirty mind! :-)

My answer doesn´t mean to be professorial, pedantic, or sarcastic (far from it). Just for fun but imparting some knowledge. ;-)
All in all, Matheus, you express himself very well, rough diamond (requiring little polishing, not much) but a diamond just the same. Who wouldn´t want a diamond ?
You have great potential, buddy, keep up the good work.