Correção de texto "I wake up, it's a cold morning" [en>en]

sophiaschimidt 20
Ola Pessoal, escrevi este textinho pra ser corrigido se possivel. Quero praticar meu writing que acho que ta mals, procurei colocar algumas coisas que tenho duvida por exemplo "one, oneself". Obrigada


I wake up, it's a cold morning as usual, cold and grey. I feel upset because of my condition being alone.

It's a funny feeling, I'm not too sure about anything, sometimes my days are grey, sometimes they are cheerful.

At work yesterday an italian woman was fired, I could detect in her eyes so many feelings, those ones that we foreigners know very well, it was a failure look, she felt a loser and I felt pitty, not that I am better than her or anything but somehow I could make it and she couldn't and I know our fears are the same, the fear of being alone because we no longer belong to our own countries, we've lost our identities, we are exiled.

Being exiled is much more than what is written in the dictionary, it's also a soul condition, one can live freely in (it's/their) country but when one moves abroad one loses the identity and start to belong everywhere - nowehere. Then it comes the feeling of being trapped inside (oneself?) And the feeling of being twice exiled, phisically and emotionaly.
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Os verbos regulares são os mais utilizados e têm regras fáceis. Baixe o Guia Grátis da English Live e aprenda sobre os Verbos Regulares em inglês. O que tem no guia? Verbos regulares e irregulares, como conjugar os verbos regulares e quais são os verbos mais utilizados.

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3 respostas
Ordenar por: Data

Donay Mendonça 58050 22 97 1386
Sophia,

Algumas sugestões de melhoria
:

I wake up, it's a cold morning as usual, cold and grey. I feel upset because of my condition of being alone.

It's a funny feeling, I'm not too sure about anything, sometimes my days are grey, sometimes they are cheerful.

At work, yesterday, an Italian woman was fired, I could see in her eyes so many feelings, those ones that we, foreigners, know very well, it was a look of failure, she felt like a loser and I felt pity, not that I am better than her or anything, but somehow I had succeeded and she hadn't; and I know our fears are the same, the fear of being alone because we no longer belong to our countries, we've lost our identities, we are exiled.

Being exiled is much more than what is written in the dictionary, it's also a soul condition. One can live freely in their country but when one moves abroad one loses the identity and starts to belong anywhere and nowehere at the same time. Then it comes the feeling of being trapped inside oneself and the feeling of being exiled in two ways: both physically and emotionally.


Bom Texto!

sophiaschimidt 20
Thanks a lot Donay,

I'm suprised I haven't made too many mistakes! But I definetely have an issue with spelling, that's why I think it's good to write some texts for somebody else proofread.

Thanks a lot

Donay Mendonça 58050 22 97 1386
Sophia,

Mais uma correção:

Then there comes the feeling of being trapped inside oneself and the feeling of being exiled in two ways: both physically and emotionally.