Correção de texto: A disastrous date

Avatar do usuário draylson 15
A disastrous date

The guy arrived on time at the girl's house and called to her in order to tell her that he was there. Then, she left out and stood there trying to find where he was. Few seconds later, she realized that he was driving a school's van.

When the girl got inside the van, he felt suffocated with the smell of her perfume and noticed the horrible jacket she was wearing. "You are beautiful.", he said. "Thanks. I have customized this jacket by myself. My friends say I should be a stylist.", she answered.

During the dinner, he expected the smell of her perfume would decrease, but she often went to the bathroom to touch up her makeup and perfume. After the dinner, she was waiting for him to pay the bill when he suprised her with the information about how much the dinner would cost to each one. After she paid a half of the bill, he gave to the waiter his credit card which was refused. As he did not have another one, she paid the other half of the bill.
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Avatar do usuário Juliana Rios 18850 21 98 389
Sugestões:

A disastrous date

The guy arrived on time at the girl's house and called to her in order to tell her that he was there. Then, she went outside ["left" ou "left out" não são apropriados neste contexto] and stood there trying to find him. A few seconds later, she realized that he was driving a school van.

When the girl got inside the van, he felt suffocated by the smell of her perfume and noticed the horrible jacket she was wearing. "You are beautiful", he said. "Thanks. I have customized this jacket myself. My friends say I should be a stylist", she answered.

During dinner [em contextos cotidianos, "dinner" não requer o artigo], he expected the smell of her perfume to fade / go away / dissipate, but she kept going to the bathroom to touch up her makeup. After dinner, she was waiting for him to pay the bill when he suprised her by saying how much it would cost each one. After she paid her half of the bill [pode-se dizer apenas "paid half the bill" em vez de "paid a half of the bill"] , he gave / handed to the waiter his credit card, which was declined. As he did not have another one, she paid the other half of the bill.

Good job!