Correção de texto: Dear host family

I have high school and I intend to do journalism school as well go back to Brazil, I work as telemarketer and I help my mother in her grocery store. i love my job , i have many friends in my job of telemarketing, we help each other in your mistakes,and for me is important help my mother also in her grocery store. Now, I study english everyday to improve.I like so much to cooking food, i know to make many type of food, like beans, rice and peas, macaroni with cheese, lasagna, soup and chicken.

In my free time I love reading many books, I'm crazy about books, mainly adventure and romance and , but I like every kind. I also enjoy, going out with my family.we usually go to places like a cinema to watch a good movie, parks, restaurants and many others, I already go to forgetting I love to listen to music and watch series. I always watch series with my siblings, we like the same kind of music and movies and series. We always buy a movie , and everyone sits on the sofa to watch it is great fun. My parents are always working, so they don't have time to watch with us. I also already participated in the church choir, was a lot of fun. as well as at school I practiced many physical exercises in physical education, and sports such as basketball. volleyball, handball.

About my experience with children’s , I have about 2190 hours of work with children. I worked with children between 6 and 10 to 12, giving lessons as tutoring teacher. We play many types of activities, and also a time to break from the snack I offered the children. I taught Portuguese and mathematics those matters are always the most difficult for children. It was a year of teaching was very fun. I was always in my school library to get some books loaned to always have new activities for children. For more new books with enough animals, stories and he develop their educational skills. For older of 10 and 12 was designated as the grade they were. I also already took care of a baby of my neighbor, she always left her daughter with me and my sisters to take care, because she always needs help because she was always alone, it was very cool.

Mais Votada Mais Votada

Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Suggestions:

My name is “Lua”. I’m nineteen years old Brazilian student. I have a high school diploma and I intend to get a degree in journalism (or I want to major in journalism).
I work as a telemarketing attendant. I love my job because I have many friends. We really help each other in our mistakes. I also assist my mother in her grocery store and for me it is important to give her a helping hand there. Now, I’m studying English every day to improve it. As I’m very fond of cooking I love the possibility of learning recipes in English. I can make many types of food, like beans, rice and peas, macaroni with cheese, lasagna, soup and chicken.

In my free time I love reading books, I'm crazy about them, mainly adventure and romance but honestly if a book of a different gender falls into my hands, I’ll be easily engrossed by it. I enjoy going out with my family as well. We usually go to the cinema, parks, restaurants and other interesting places. I was almost forgetting that I love to listen to music and watch series. I frequently watch series with my siblings; we share the same preferences in music, movies and series. We generally buy a dvd movie. Then when we arrive at home everyone sits on the sofa to watch it. It is great fun. My parents are always working, so they don't have time to watch with us.
I already took part in the church choir and it was a delightful experience. When I was in school, I took many physical education classes where I did many physical activities and sports such as basketball, volleyball, handball.

About my children’s experiences I have about 2190 hours of work with them. I worked with children aged between 6 and 12, giving lessons as a tutoring teacher. We played many types of activities.
I taught Portuguese and Mathematics and these subjects are normally the most difficult for children. It was a wonderful year of teaching. I used to go to the school library to borrow some books which helped me to prepare my classes. I used new books with animal pictures and stories for ten-year old and twelve-year old children and these materials developed their educational skills .Besides, I took care of my neighbor’s baby, she regularly left her daughter with me and my sisters because she constantly needed help being alone, it was very cool.

Obsevações: Evite repetições como o uso do advérbio Always.
Procure sinônimos como usually, regularly, constantly...
Preste atenção na construção da frase. Não mude de assunto e depois volte para o mesmo tópico no mesmo paragrafo. Deixa o texto confuso e difícil de entender.
Varie sua linguagem com tempos verbais diferentes...

São só sugestões. Espere por outras opiniões. Parabéns pelo seu texto. ;)

Aqui tem um modelo de redação que talvez possa te ajudar:

http://www.aupair2be.com/example-of-dea ... etter.html


Lembre-se que quando aprendemos uma língua, os erros fazem parte do nosso progresso!
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Aprenda dicas sobre os tempos verbais em inglês! Baixe agora o seu Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um ótimo resumo para revisar todos os conceitos.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Thanks a lot.