Correção de carta de apresentação em inglês

Ola boa tarde gostaria de saber se esta carta de apresentação que fiz esta correta ou precisa melhorar na gramatica e no caso quais as melhorias que teria quer seito em termos de gramatica
Agradeço des de ja com antecendencia a todos que se dispor a deixar suas ideias aqui
Andre Luis

Hi,
My name is Name on the working do writer/reviewer/translator on the Languages on the English-Portuguese/Spanish-Portuguese/Spanish-English and view your offer in the website name on the website and would like offer about the job expect return
Thanks
jonh Lenon

Aguardo retornos
MENSAGEM PATROCINADA Para aprender mais sobre os Tempos Verbais baixe agora o: Guia Grátis de Tempos Verbais em Inglês. Ele contém um resumo bem estruturado para revisar os conceitos que você aprendeu na escola.

Clique aqui e saiba como baixar!
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49000 21 73 1137
Poderia nos enviar o texto original em português? Com isso o contexto poderia facilitar as interpretações.
sim claro a tradução do texto em portugues e
Ola meu nome e Jonh Lenon trabalho com redação/revisão/tradução de textos e vi seu anuncio no site teste e gostaria de me candidatar ao trabalho agiardo retorno
John Lenon
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49000 21 73 1137
Sugestões:


My name is John Lenon and I'm a writer/reviewer/translator of the Languages English-Portuguese/Spanish-Portuguese/Spanish-English. I saw one of your advertisements on a website and I'd like to apply for the job. I look forward to your reply.
Oi, Pessoal. Estou escrevendo uma carta de apresentação para acompanhar meu CV em inglês. Me bateu uma super dúvida sobre como me referir a minha formação acadêmica (graduação, pós e Mestrado). Poderiam fazer uma correção geral? Obrigado, abraços.

Dear Srs,

I’m a professional with over 15 years experience in Marketing, acting in national and multinational companies in consumer services and consumer goods product management.

During the last 10 years, I’ve lead the Products and Marketing team of one of Serasa Experian’s Business Units, where among my main accomplishments, I’d like to highlight:
• Development of new business models and launch of new SaaS solutions to market verticals such as FIS, Retail and Telecom in Brazil and Latin America that enhanced the Business Unit annual revenue in over 50%;
• Launch of the first SME decisioning platform app (iOS and Android), with over 30.000 downloads in the first 6 operating months;
• Increase of the product lines EBIT in 30pp through portfolio profitability optimization;

Besides that, I’ve graduated in Advertising and Marketing from ESPM, post graduated in Business from FGV and have a Master degree in Business and Strategy from Insper, as well as written and spoken fluency in English and Spanish.

With the objective o evaluating new management carrier opportunities in Marketing and Sales, I send attached my resume for your consideration and I keep myself available for personal contacts when I’ll be able to detail my core competences.

Regards,
Avatar do usuário Donay Mendonça 49000 21 73 1137
Algumas sugestões de correção onde o contexto permite avaliar:

Dear Srs,

I’m a professional with over 15 years of experience in Marketing and I have worked in national and multinational companies in consumer services and consumer goods product management.

Over the last 10 years, I’ve lead the Products and Marketing team of one of Serasa Experian’s Business Units, where among my main accomplishments, I’d like to highlight:
• Development of new business models and launch of new SaaS solutions to market verticals such as FIS, Retail and Telecom in Brazil and Latin America that enhanced the Business Unit annual revenue in over 50%;
• Launch of the first SME decisioning platform app (iOS and Android), with over 30.000 downloads in the first 6 operating months;
• Increase of the product lines EBIT in 30pp through portfolio profitability optimization;

Besides that, I have a degree in Advertising and Marketing from ESPM; I post graduated in Business from FGV and I have a Master's degree in Business and Strategy from Insper. I also have written and spoken fluency in English and Spanish.

With the objective of evaluating new management carrier opportunities in Marketing and Sales, I send attached my resume for your consideration and I am available for personal contacts so that I can give more details about my main competences.
Waaay better. Thanks a lot! LP