Correção de texto: How do movies or television influence

Estou estudando para o TOEFL bastante ultimamente. Aqui vai uma redação que fiz.
Muito obrigado desde já.

How do movies or television influence people’s behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

There are a lot of scientific research trying to discover what are the main factors in human behavior. Some people think the powerful source of shapping behavior is the genetic factor, while others believe that the environment takes the primary role on it. For these who choose the last one, TV can’t be ignored. Indeed, our personality, wishes and language are, without doubt, influenced - or even shaped - by TV, movies and other kinds of media.

Nowadays, the TV has a role as important as parents role in children education. Children grow up watching their favorites cartoons and exposed to advertising every day. Altought made for childs, these cartoons of course have it’s own values and ideas. It is known that our values obtained in childhood influences strongly the rest of our lifes, thus, TV is a factor of primary importance.

But, obvisiously, not only the children are influenced by media. Movies and televisions can work telling what anyone need buy and how their lifestyle needs to be in order to be recognized as sucesfull. For example, the called “American way of life” was exported from United States to all the world and people that previously had a certain style of life began to change it.

Movies can also be a source of social change in people’s life. For example, when a protagonist is wearing some specific kind of clothes, the public may, depending on the impact of the movie and the emphaty that they feel for the caracter, try to wear the same type of clothes. It isn’t dificult notice that TV and movies may influence fashion.

Therefore, such kind of medias influence people’s in the most diferent ways, since our childhood until now, from fashion to moral values.
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Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39165 6 32 684
This is a very very quick proofreading of mine, just my stab.
So I am sure that many corrections on my own rough draft are needed, but it´s a beggining, a kick-off of sorts.
But a draft anyway, so a bit superficial. Made in haste here.

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There are a lot of scientific research trying to discover what are the main factors in human behavior. Some people think the powerful (main source to me...more like it) source of shaping behavior is the genetic factor, while others believe that the environment takes the primary role on it. To those who choose the last one, TV [television] can’t be ignored. Indeed, our personality, wishes and language are, without doubt, influenced - or even shaped - by it TV, movies and other kinds of media.


=>For – To me, “to” fits better there. It could also be replaced by “according to”
=>Those – it´s a bit more informal, impersonal. Anyway, you could use also “to the latter” that means “to the last ones” as opposite of “the former” (since there are two “schools of thinking there”. )
=>shaping -just a "p" not two.
=>I striked out that ''TV'' not to keep repeating the word on and on.


Nowadays, television plays a role as important as parents´s help/involment/inpiration/role model role in children education. Children grow up watching their favorites cartoons and being exposed to advertising every day. Altought made for children childs, these cartoons of course have itsit’s own values and ideas. It is known that our values obtained in childhood influences strongly the rest of our lifes, thus, TV is a factor of primary importance.



=>“the” TV sounds like the TV set (or could make confusion), but then, it´s me. Let´s wait a second opinion on that one. To me, just “television” would do.

=>Nowadays, television plays a role as important as parents´ role model... etc. To me it adds more a bit of "spice" to the text.

=>If children grow up "watching"... the bit where it says "exposed" necessarily will need a ING verb too. Then "being" was a good candidate.

=>Altough (without T in the end.)

=>children, not childs, irregular plural here.

=>It´s would mean "it is'" its being the right possessive, third person singular here.

=>of course what follows is already a positive statement (an affirmation), so "of course" would be a redundancy.
Still more, by wedging "of course'' here, you are making a personal statement. In texts like these (academical) you try to
show your opinion, but in a general way. In an impersonal/neuter way.
Without ''forcing" your point of view.





[/s]But, obviously obvisiously, not only the children are influenced by media. Movies and televisions can work telling influence what people/one/everyone anyone need buy and how their lifestyle needs to be, in order to be recognized as sucesfull. For example, the so called “American way of life” has been exported from the United States to all the world and people that previously had a certain style of life began to change it.

Movies can also be a source of social change in people’s life. For example, when a protagonist is wearing some specific kind of clothes, the public may, depending on the impact of the movie and the emphaty that they feel for the caracter, try to wear the same type of clothes. It isn’t difficult dificult not to notice that TV and movies may influence fashion.

Therefore, such kind of media influence people’s in the most diferent ways, since our childhood until now, from fashion to moral values.


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Good luck with your studying.
I'm very grateful, Paulo!

Sorry about those minor erros in (on?) spelling. When I have made the text, I have tried to simlate the test experience, thus, I have not viewed any word at the dictionary.

Can you help me with some questions, please?

For example, the so called “American way of life”
I think the word "so" tries to express something like "o então chamado" in portuguese. But this is just a improvement or the phrase without the "so" is wrong?


" It isn’t difficult not to notice "
Can I use double negative here?


Thanks!
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39165 6 32 684
Normally we say "spelling errors/mistakes" but don´t sweat it too much, with time you see them even if you don´t want. Practice makes perfect they say.

Besides, you didn´t made something awful, even natives sometimes make mistakes. As you can see in this outdoor:
"15 best things about our pubic schools." :lol:
http://now.msn.com/spelling-errors-a-ph ... y-mistakes



Can you help me with some questions, please?

For example, the so called “American way of life”
I myself, made a mistake there. Instead, I should have written "so-called", used to introduce a new word or phrase which is not yet known by many people. In Portuguese "o assim chamado/o que chamam de." or if you wish, the second aception I found on a dictionary (I think that one is even more apt to fit there) :

"used to show that you think a word that is used to describe someone or something is not suitable or not correct
-It was one of his so-called friends who supplied him with the drugs that killed him.
"

In a way, the text is going to say that just swallowing "other culture" without weighing the pros and cons it´s not always suitable, so in this way the "so-called" carries an opinion on it, of sorts.

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" It isn’t difficult not to notice "

Again you have a point, on second thought I spotted the double negative (but just after you having warned me, he he.)
Yet, I have noticed that on blogs and sites (anyway I will check it on with my friends on an English Forum. Then I will be back to you.)

I recall something about "negative in meaning", if it´s the case, here you would have an affirmative statement, altough you have the word "difficult". Because you are affirming something positively, namely, that "it´s difficulting not to notice...something"


For the time being, you can use that:
"It isn’t difficult noticing the influence television and movies may have in fashion."


It´s closer to what you had in the beggining.
I'm very grateful again, Paulo :P
Avatar do usuário PPAULO 39165 6 32 684
Well, as promised I got back. Part of my question and the answer I got back was:

Mine -
I googled and saw plenty of sentences like these:

It is difficult not to notice the huge difference in response rate between the traditional 'segment-based' messages, and the behavioral, event-based message...


In doing physics it is difficult not to notice that some things are inconceivable

As one is getting older it is difficult not to notice memory lapses which are becoming more frequent.


With a gross area of 16,500 square metres, it is difficult not to notice this cultural landmark in Southern Norway.


OR


It is not difficult noticing the correspondence of Margolis' constructivist perspective with one of the most documented features of pragmatist philosophy in general.

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And his:

Separating the wheat from the chaff and ignoring the errors in the main body (like 'difficult difficult') [I really did it, in haste], we proceed to 'my little question':

Everything you 'googled' is correct and properly used.

"It is NOT difficult to notice" = "It is NOT difficult noticing" = "It is reasonably EASY to notice".

"It is NOT difficult NOT to notice" means "It is EASY to overlook".

"It is difficult NOT to notice" uses an infinitive construction.

"It is NOT difficult noticing ----- " uses a gerund construction.

"noticing the correspondence of Margolis' constructivist perspective with one of the most documented features of pragmatist philosophy" is a gerund phrase.

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Back to me:
So André, you could say ""It is NOT difficult to notice" = "It is NOT difficult noticing" = "It is reasonably EASY to notice".



The use of the word "difficult" doesn´t make the sentence here in a negative one, so the NOT can be used.
Hope it helps.
It is not difficult noticing it helped me.

See ya.