Hi, my name Junior Sousa and I’m
eighteen years old. At the moment, I'm studying in a university
a little far away
from my neighborhood. Everyday my father takes me there by motorcycle and I
come back home by bus. I don't like that very much, because I spend an hour and thirty minutes on the way back. In my free time, I love playing the guitar.
I've been playing it for four years and I still remember the first song I learned.
Another thing that I like a lot is going out with my friends and dancing, also playing and going shopping
Some points to consider:
We always use the preposition on with the noun way when you are going to one place to another place. Example:
I bumped into John on the way home.http://dictionary.cambridge.org/pt/dici ... tugues/wayhttp://oxforddictionary.so8848.com/search1?word=way
The Noun University: the letter u is a vowel but has a consonant sound “y”. Therefore we say “a university” and not an university. https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/reso ... ce/540/01/
It’s better to use the noun song and not music here. Collocation. We can count songs but not music (uncountable noun). So you must say the first song you learned.http://guitar.about.com/od/tabchordslyr ... Guitar.htmhttps://sites.google.com/site/marysengl ... like-doing
If you started writing a text using contractions go on using them. Don’t mix contracted forms with full forms as you did in the first paragraph e.g. I am eighteen years old. … I’m studying….
Congratulations on your essay.