I am a fifth semester student of Computer Science at Center of Informatics (CIn) at Federal University of Pernambuco (Universidade Federal de Pernambuco – UFPE). The center is well known all over Brazil as an excellence center. It runs several educational programs around, offering internship in those universities, earning credits to/in our own university.
In fact, It has won many national national excellence awards, but studying in an university abroad will be a plus, it will bring a whole new range of techniques and strategies, along with goal-oriented practices that would enhance the quality of my learning to new heights.
I have had the opportunity to get a general vision on the several areas of computing and I got particularly interested in information security, databases and infrastructure communications.
In fact you should be proud of your education and the learning you are having, the English you show proves that. So, putting the finger in its drawbacks, if any. Plus, doing that, you are almost contradicting yourself, you just have praised it! Focus instead on your education, in the improvement/upgrade you wish. You even can point out pitfalls, but try not be so direct, aka,
My major focus is related to database security, which includes two of my areas of interest that are of great importance to the society. Today we have the so-called Internet of Things (IoT) and Cloud Computing leading the future of the internet to both nano levels and distributed services with compound data from many enterprises (?) (couldn´t be applicatives/gadgets (?), respectively.
Therefore, there is a vast undiscovered area, which includes, above all, people. These people are unprotected crowd that do not know anything that happen to their data on the Internet. Then I want (need(?)) to study these kind of fields and get the necessary experience to help in some way the world or at least a part of it.
My secondary/other, but not less important field of study is connected to the new technology of data transfer and new internet protocols and constitutes a big interest. The world is expanding even more every day, with new connections, new devices and the fact the internet never stopped to grow, opened doors for new technologies of communication as 5g that is still crawling, NFC, pCell wireless, wireless energy transfer and all the “Smart Things” that compose the IoT. Moreover, I do not want to create a new technology (maybe in the future) but help the wireless transition we are going soon to have, avoiding its issues.
However, my university  not being able to/can´t offer the needed support to most of my fields of interest and ( ) develop the specified abilities, so being granted that opportunity will be one more door opened in the path of my career. Learning about the culture in (the) United States will be great for my own experience, and certainly will
increase my independence and maturity, since I consider myself a bit dependent from my family.
That´s more, while mastering a new language will advantageus to my academic skills. On my return, I will be able to share my experiences with other researchers in my center or even create some brand news in the field, with the help of professors on my area. All these guidelines will certainly be a part graduation experience for the rest of my life.
Regard that, as a rough draft. Certainly that will be much to be changed, I´ll leave it to others members of the Forum.
I must say that it has only superficial changins and rearrangings of some parts. I, in fact, gave just a passing reading and revising.
-I like the fact you talked about yourself, expectations and purpose of intent, wich may be what [i]I assume that CsF (SWF) requires as well.
-On the other hand, you will need some improving in critical thinking, developmental skills. The content is there, you just have to polish the diamong a bit.
-Be aware of the organization of the text, use of neaty paragraphs, interlinking of ideas, the transitions from an idea to the other, the audience.
-Always create a title for your text, prefferably one that sums up what you have written. That, in turn, will be consistent with the prompt. [/i]