Correção de Texto: Friends

What do you want most in a friend — someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

True friends are siblings we choose. We’re not blood related but we love, argue, rest on their shoulders, offer our shoulders, listen, talk, cry together and, the most important, rely. Being reliable is the most important trait I look for in a friend. Unfortunately, reliability’s not that easy to find.

First, reliable friends are sincere and honest. When you have a reliable friend you can be sure that all the feelings he or she has and all the moments you spent together were for real. All the laughters in the funny moments and tears shed in the sad ones were true and all the compliments you received were sincere.

Second, although sometimes in life we don’t want to hear or see the truth, we need this reliable friend. He or she is the only one who can talk some sense into us and make us come back to the real world. This kind of friend is able to tell me if I need to change the outfit because I’m looking terrible, tell me if I’m getting fat or even interfere in the beginning of any relationship showing that this new crush is not a good boy or doesn’t have good intentions.

Third, it is evident that we should only share our secrets with reliable friends. This type of friend is the only one able to listen and keep its mouth shut. I’ve shared many secrets in my life and only the ones shared with reliable friends are still kept from other people. The secrets told to unreliable people have been gossiped for all school and university causing me embarrassment and shame.

To conclude, I absolutely value my reliable friends. Although finding these friends was difficult, it was worth trying. They are the ones I can count on whenever I need and they will never do things behind my back. Therefore, I intend to keep them for the rest of my life.

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1 resposta
PPAULO 6 47 1.1k
I would change "we’re not blood related" to "we’re not blood-related" or "related by blood". But then, it´s me, others may don´t see that way.

I noticed that in parts of your piece of text, it´s impersonal, then it gets personal [particularly with the use of the pronoun "I"]. That happens as in certain passages, like:
This kind of friend is able to tell me if I need to change the outfit because I’m looking terrible.
I absolutely value my reliable friends.
Therefore, I intend to keep them for the rest of my life.
They are the ones I can count on

Some would say it´s desirable to make it impersonal, I have seen some sites with personal views, though.
Anyway, it would have to be personal or impersonal from the beggining to the end.

"To conclude", perhaps would be more natural if you changed to "in conclusion".

All in all, you made a pretty good piece of text. Congrats! keep up the good job.
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