Correção de Texto: If I could do it again

Avatar do usuário draylson 15
If I could do it again

When I was a teenager I attended an eletroelectronic course. In one of the pratical lessons we had to fix a electric motor. The teacher advises us that it is very recommended to perform some tests before to turn on the motor, but I ignored them. If I could do it again I would pay more attention on the teacher. My motor almost get burnt and had to spend a week fixing the damage.
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Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Draylson (wrote)

When I was a teenager I (attended ) ( do a course – this collocation sounds better here) did an electroelectronic course. In one of the practical lessons we had to fix an electric motor. The teacher (advises- you are telling a story that happened in the past ) advised us that it (is ) was very recommended to perform some tests before to turn on the motor, but I ignored it (them - choice of the subject you ignored the instruction that your teacher gave- one instruction). If I could do it again I would pay more attention on the teacher. My motor almost (get burnt) got burnt and I (don’t forget the subject) had to spend a week fixing the damage.


You story was very well written! Congratulations! I noticed some minor mistakes. Let’s wait for more opinions.

Best,
Ana
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Hi
I just wanted to add a few considerations:

Perhaps here: Teacher advised us that it would be very recommended ( would (simple conditional) sounds better than it was very recommended (past simple- as I wrote yesterday, it is not wrong, but if you use the simple conditional here it makes your sentence clearer).

Another thing that I would like to mention is that to attend a course is not wrong. But in this context I personally think that to do a course is better. Read the examples:
I attended a course. (Eu cursei um curso) (Eu frequentei um curso)
I used to attend Sunday mass. (Eu costumava assistir à missa de domingo)

As you are telling a story in the past, I think you wanted to say ( eu fiz um curso).Therefore this collocation (do a course) makes your text clearer to the reader understand.

Best,
Ana
Instead of
"...was very recommended to perform some tests before to turn on the motor, but I ignored it..."
Wouldn't be better to say:
"...was very recommended to perform some tests before turning the motor on..." ?
Are both equally well constructed ?
Tks!
Augusto
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
You are right! I didn't notice that. Thank you very much for your comment.


After a preposition the verb should be written with ing form.

Before leaving...

Before turning .....

After arriving...

I'm tired of making mistakes.

I'm happy about going out.

Thank you very much!

Ana
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
Draylson
The correction of your story:

When I was a teenager I did an electroelectronic course. In one of the practical lessons we had to fix an electric motor. The teacher made a strong recommendation that we should perform some tests before turning on the motor, but I ignored it. If I could do it again I would pay more attention on the teacher. My motor almost got burnt and I had to spend a week fixing the damage.


Augusto thank you very much for reminding me about the preposition.
Draylson:
I changed a bit the sentence where the verbs: advise and recommend are because I think in this way it sounds more simple and clear. I used the noun: recommendation.And the collocation : to make a strong recommendation. ;)


Best,
Ana
Avatar do usuário Ancrispa 2555 8 57
The last correction: "If I could do it again I would pay more attention to the teacher."