Correção de redação em inglês (5)

Essay 6
If I could change one important thing in my hometown, definetely I would depollute her river. In the past our river named Cachoeira was our proude. Now it stinks and have no water life. In the past, my people could navigate, fish, swim and spend all day around him. Also, some people used him to work and transpostation. But, to have all this things back the prefecture have to remove near insdustries, make a plan for people stop throwing sewer in the river and than start the depolution.
In my opnion all the pollution started when the city started grow. People from that time didn’t have a plan for the growth. May be they didn’t care about or they didn’t imagine the consequences today. For this reason, big factories and houses were build around of the river. Consequently, all the pollution and garbage produced were thrown in the river.
What I feel sorry about is the fact that the color and stink of the river is so strong that people from other place notice at first. Consequently, this create an impression that my city is dirty and we don’t care about it. To revert it, the prefecture have to remove factories around the Cachoeira’s river as the first step for depollution. Second, a plan for stop throw urban sewer in the river has to be made and executed. Finally, they have to remove the pollution and start a treatment in the water to remove the dark color and the stink.
I know it’s hard to do that and also requires a lot of money. But by doing that the self esteem of people from my hometown will grow and we will have more all the activities which a clean river can provide. Also, visitors will have a better first impression from my city. So, its what I would change in my city.
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Sugestões de correção dentro do que o contexto permite avaliar:

If I could change one important thing in my hometown, definetely I would depollute her river. In the past our river named Cachoeira was our pride. Now it stinks and has no water life. In the past, my people could navigate, fish, swim and spend all day around it. Also, some people used it to work and for transportation. But, to have all these things back the city council would have to remove nearby industries, make a plan for people stop throwing sewer in the river and then start the depolution.
In my opnion all the pollution started when the city started growing. People from that time didn’t have a plan for the growth. Maybe they didn’t care about or they didn’t imagine the consequences today. For this reason, big factories and houses were build around the river. Consequently, all the pollution and garbage produced was thrown in the river.
What I feel sorry about is the fact that the color and stink of the river is so strong that people from other places notice it at first. Consequently, this creates an impression that my city is dirty and we don’t care about it. To revert it, the city council would have to remove factories around the Cachoeira river as the first step for depollution. Second, a plan to stop throwing urban sewer in the river has to be made and executed. Finally, they have to remove the pollution and start a treatment in the water to remove the dark color and the stink.
I know it’s hard to do that and it also requires a lot of money. But by doing that the self esteem of people from my hometown will grow and we will have all the activities which a clean river can provide. Also, visitors will have a better first impression from my city. So, that's what I would change in my city.